Monday, February 22, 2021

Eight years on...

When it's difficult to see ahead
Laval, QC
February 2013
This photo originally shared on Instagram

Eight years ago today, my wife lost her mom, our kids lost their bubby, and I lost my mother-in-law.

I remember looking out the window of her condo the morning of her funeral, and I remember what it felt like to take this photo. A relentlessly grey sky had descended over us, the sadness almost palpable. How many times had I stood here, taking pictures of the sky, sharing them with her so she could critique them before we continued on with dinner. There was no critique this morning, and it felt beyond off.

While eight years may seem like a stretch, the reality of loss is that it never really leaves you. Sure, you go back to some semblance of life, but you're never again whole.

Today I look around our house and I'm thankful, because everything we are and have traces in some way back to her. And while Debbie's dad is also no longer with us, we're still here to remember their fierce love of us and our kids, the fierce love that we all returned to them, and how lucky we were to have had them at all.

Eventually the sun did shine through the window you see here. The scene was forever changed, of course, but we still got to make a few more indelible memories in this place before yet again we were forced to say goodbye.

I'm absolutely certain she'd be comforted knowing we continued carrying forward all the tiny facets of family life that she held so dear. I just wish the universe played by different rules.

#laval #montreal #lifeinthemargins #family #everything

Even the skies know, February 2013

No comments: