Peter's Laws

Years ago, I came across this lovely little list of life's lessons. So taken was I with it that I printed up a copy and posted it outside my cubicle at the MegaCorps where I worked. It was soon joined by other one-page "happies" that made for light reading while folks waited for me to get off the phone.

Although my initial intention was to provide an ever-changing selection of reading material for friendly visitors, the raison d'etre of my literary rogue's gallery eventually took on an additional, less altruistic role: I figured it would also teach a subtle lesson or two to the bean counters who regularly made the rounds of the cube farms to make sure we were still sitting there at the appointed hours. Maybe it would even teach them to smile.

I'm not sure if I managed to pierce the foggy depths within which most of these drones lived, but works like this one continue to make me smile to this day. I hope they have a similar impact - smiling and thinking - on you. Enjoy.

Peter's Laws
The Creed of the Sociopathic Obsessive Compulsive

1. If anything can go wrong, Fix it! (To hell with Murphy!)
2. When given a choice -- Take both!
3. Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.
4. Start at the top and work your way up.
5. Do it by the book...but be the author!
6. When forced to compromise, ask for more.
7. If you can't beat them, join them, and then beat them.
8. If it's worth doing, it's got to be done right now.
9. If you can't win, change the rules.
10. If you can't change the rules, ignore them.
11. When faced without a challenge, make one.
12. "No" simply means begin again at the next highest level.
13. Don't walk when you can run.
14. Bureaucracy is a challenge to the be conquered with a righteous attitude, an intolerance for stupidity, and bulldozer when necessary.
15. When in doubt: THINK!
16. Patience is a virtue but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.
17. The squeaky wheel gets replaced.
18. The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.