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Friday, November 18, 2011

On grief

"Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists."
Antonio Porchia


I'm beginning to think that life is a constant process of managing - and learning to live with - loss. No wonder so many of the well-aged wear the years so haggardly on their faces: They've lost so much, and so many, along the way.

Your turn: Is there a silver lining to grief?

11 comments:

  1. not for me, the only think i'm hoping for is that i will see them again when i leave this world.

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  2. I learned a lot about myself when I was going thru the early stages of grief.. and yes I went thru each phase.. My adult kids had never experienced loss so when they found themselves crying for what felt like no reason, they came to me to explain and I didn't quite understand it till another friend who had suffered a similar loss explained it... I learned that there is an 'anniversary' to the loss.. meaning grief can hit you w/out knowing around the time your loved one died... The first couple of years, I would feel weepy around that death date and each year it subsides... sometimes a holiday, a birthday will bring on the grief...My kids have learned a lot about themselves and what they can withstand... I've come to realize that the experience of loss, pain, anger, love, sadness, happiness,success, failure is what we are all put here to experience... All the feelings that God experienced is what he wants us to learn and grow from...I know I am stronger and I am also being tested w/ another conflict and it is certainly trying but, I refuse to let it get the best of me.

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  3. Not sure if it's really a silver lining, Carmi, but as we get older and go through it again and again, we gain understanding.
    ~

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  4. If you find one...let me know. I've experienced all kinds of loss over the last few years and I have yet to find a positive to attach to any of it.

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  5. But ofcourse ! Ofcourse ! Grief teaches many things. And amongst those things, is the fact that there can be the marvel of lessons learnt and something better to look forward to

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  6. I feel like I'm learning from you yourself, Carmi, as you've shared your journey through the loss of dear, dear ones, that one (perhaps sliver) of a silver lining in grief is the reminder and encouragement to slow down and truly appreciate and really love the precious people in my life. The admonition not to miss the joy in these fleeting moments with these special people, to hug them tighter, to linger longer, to slow down and enjoy even the most mundane of activities because the precious treasures and life is uncertain.

    I'm just beginning to learn...

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  7. I guess I wouldn't call it a silver lining but I believe in the promise that I will see those loved ones again.
    For the here and now, loss really makes me cherish life, and my family.

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  8. If there is a silver lining...I hope to find it. I hope you find yours too!

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  9. my thoughts... are that there IS a silver lining to grief

    my problem...is that i don't want that lining to be a thnk line round the edge, that looks stunning only because of the larger area that offsets it.

    i usuaully want that silver lining to almost eclipse my grief....which it never does

    at least.....not at the begining....

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  10. I think so. But I also think that grieving is different for everyone.

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