Eyeing the grouchy chocolate bar through glass

Not that hungry
Montreal, QC
February 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

Hospitals are filled with countless tiny details that we often miss because we're overwhelmed by the very reasons that brought us here in the first place.

Like the vending machine in the shadowy corner of the 6th floor family lounge, a frequent hangout for us as we've waited for Deb's dad to be changed, or undergo another in an endless string of medical procedures. For all the times we've been here, this morning is the first time I even realized it had a vending machine. So much for my powers of observation.

The Snickers bar you see here seems to reflect my mood, a roller-coaster-like sine wave that oscillates between exhaustion, sadness, and anger at the universe. I'm grouchy - not to anyone around me, but within myself, as I constantly churn the possibilities of what might happen next and how we'll deal with it. And seeing this weirdly marketed chocolate bar in an ignored vending machine in a forgotten corner of a room no one wants to be in strikes me as a perfect reflection of the moment.

So I shoot it. Not because it's a good picture, because it isn't, and I've been taking a lot of these throwaway pics lately. But because it's another oddball slice of an oddball chapter in an oddball life. And someday we'll look back at it and count our lucky stars that we were able to somehow navigate this chapter and put it behind us. At least that's the plan - and we all know what the universe often does with the plans we make.

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