Our little guy, Noah, celebrates his fifth birthday today. In a couple of hours, we'll load the minivan, slide open the sunroof, pop on some tunes and head on down to the play place that he chose as the venue for his party. He and his boisterous circle of friends will run themselves silly, fill themselves with pizza and cake, and then hopefully be tired enough to nap while their parents - and we - drive them home for a quiet afternoon. At least that's the plan.
But it wasn't the party that was on my mind as I snuck into his room after tuck-in last night. I simply stared at him as he dozed in the dim light that reflected in from the hallway. He lay curled up on his side, underneath his Buzz Lightyear comforter, clutching his beloved Winnie the Pooh blankie. He was bigger than he had ever been before, yet he still looked so small.
I gently patted his head with one hand, wondering how much longer I'd be able to fit my whole hand over so much of him. I put my head in the little crook between his shoulder and his cheek, and felt his gentle breathing. I wondered what he was dreaming about. He's such a happy kid that I figure it had to be a sweet dream.
I stayed there for too long, hoping I could slow things down just long enough so that I would properly remember what it felt like to be right there, right then. I thought how lucky he was to be having a sweet dream about his big birthday, and how lucky I was to be right there as he dreamed it all.
He didn't stir as I whispered into his ear that I loved him and kissed him one last time. I'm sure he didn't even know I was there. But deep down, I hope he knows that I wish I could always be there with him. And that no matter how big he gets, he'll always be our baby, and we'll always remember what it was like for our little guy to get lost in the middle of a sea of Buzz Lightyear and Winnie the Pooh.
May this birthday be as happy as the little boy who celebrates it today.
Hi Michele sent me into this sweet moment. Glad you appreciate, treasure, these years.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Carmi. Michele sent me here.
ReplyDeleteMy baby girl is 4 today so I am experiencing some of the same thoughts and feelings as you. May your little one and your family have a wonderful day! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteaww carmi, you got me all teary eyed now. 5 is a fun and exciting year :) Lots to be learned and lots of experianced.
ReplyDeleteand if you figure out how to skow time,please let me know.
I used to adjust my rearviw mirro while driving so I could study my sons in amazement who were in the back seat. I have never stopped being amazed by them, even now as they are young adults. Happy Birthday to your son. Michele sent me.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post ...Some of my most favorite moments are exactly that ..Looking over her angelic face as she sleeps .Wondering what she is dreaming . I love your writing as always ..I hope Noah ( I love that name) has a most excellent birthday today :)
ReplyDeleteWell Noah and I celebrate the same "Birthday!" Happy Birthday Noah !!
ReplyDeletejeremy
Happy Birthday to Noah!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree about the baby of the family. My youngest never seems to be as big as his brothers were at his age. He will always be my baby and as such will always be spoiled!
You're making the most of his life and yours. That's the best there is.
ReplyDeleteThey will always be your baby. my son is 22 and I still worry about him sometimes. Michelle sent me.
ReplyDeleteMichele sent me. Wonderful insight! My husband and I always take a moment to check on the kids before retiring, although I think it's just an excuse to watch them sleep! :0)
ReplyDeleteMichele sent me. My niece turned 5 this week as well. They are simply amazing to observe.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the moment....I took pictures as my son slept the night he turned 6. I swear he grew up over night. On the bright side, each year I think I could never love him more than I do now and yet, each year I love him and enjoy him more! Close your eyes and feel his soft, warm plump hand in yours the next time you hold it...and commit the memory to your heart so you'll have it to cherish the day he finally lets go...
ReplyDeleteAfter arriving here from Michele's, let me just say: Great post!
ReplyDeleteI've got three of my own and, at one time or another, have experienced the same mixed feelings. Thankfully, today's technology (digital cameras, videocams, etc) help keep those memories safe and secure.
Michelle sent me! Smootch that baby for me!
ReplyDeleteIt never stops; even when they hit 22 you look at them and wonder how it's possible they got that big, and if there's any way to slow it all down.
ReplyDelete'Course, part of that is because every day he gets older so do I, and I'm much closer to dead than he is ;)
Mike is right (that's my Spouse Thingy!)...you never really stop worrying.
Michele sent me to say this: When you come back and re-read this post in fifteen years' time, you'll remember exactly what it felt like to be right there, right then. You'll remember it because it's an important memory and you ran it through your mind several times when writing this post. And that's how you'll always be able to remember such a touching and intimate moment.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Carmi. And yes, he will always be your baby. My oldest is 13 and stands a good 5 inches taller than me....and he's still my baby.
ReplyDeleteAw, well a very Happy fifth to your little one!
ReplyDeleteMichele sent me, but I love coming by on my own!
Happy Birthday to your little guy!
ReplyDeleteI am here via Michele tonight
Wow, what a perfect moment, so sweetly captured. Happy birthday to your son.
ReplyDeleteAw that was such a sweet post! What a great daddy you must be :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your little man!
Wonderful post. My children will always be my babies...
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to your little fella.
Babies turn 18, I've found. I know what you're going through here. I have one that just turned 7. She's the end of the line. Now they get to be really old babies~,:^)
ReplyDelete