On remembering to be kind

"If you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
Conan O'Brien

 I like the "and you're kind" part. Most people seem to forget about being kind. Which is kinda sad.

Footsteps in the snow

Evidence of civilization
London, ON
January 2017
For more footwear-themed Thematic, head here

When I was a kid, I'd often seek out the most challenging route between where I was and where I wanted to go. Never mind that the path had been meticulously cleared with a shovel and hours of sweat and profanity: It was a lot more fun to point myself toward the deepest snow and dive in. I didn't much care how messy I got in the process. Life was short, and snow was awesome.

Adulthood seems to have tempered that feeling somewhat, which is likely why I couldn't understand why an unknown person had walked up the hill through the snow instead of just using the door literally inches to the left of this scene.

This time out, I stuck to the easy route to avoid getting snow all over my boots. But on reflection, maybe I should have been carving my own path through the fresh powder. Adulthood can be such a killjoy.

On laughter and relationships

"My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class."
Seth Meyers

Yes. This. Because a sense of humor is a wonderful thing.

It's #BellLetsTalk day. So let's talk.

I work for a giant media company, Bell Media, which is in turn owned by an even more giant telecommunications company, BCE Inc., and today's the day of our annual multiplatform campaign to raise awareness of mental health issues.

It's called Bell Let's Talk, and the company donates 5 cents (Canadian) to mental health initiatives for every text, call, tweet, and Instagram post that uses the #BellLetsTalk hashtag. If you watch the video on Facebook or use the Snapchat geofilter, Bell will donate, too. For even more background, here's the website: Bell.ca/LetsTalk.

Whatever tools you use, have at it and please get my employer to spend as much as possible today. Trust me: They're happy to do so.

I grew up in a family and in an era when mental health wasn't talked about. People suffering from mental illness were deemed "psycho" or "crazy". They were shunned, criticized for not just shaking it off or sucking it up. They were lumped into their own lonely category. Even feared. Anyone who sought help was derisively referred to as "seeing a shrink." as if that was an admission of weakness. In my world, you bravely fought cancer or heart disease. Yet somehow mental illness - a disease of the brain - was never accorded the same level of respect.

Which, of course, drove it underground. And continues to do so to this day. Because in a world where we wrap ourselves in colors for every disease under the sun, we somehow fail to do the same for those who suffer from mental illness. I'm not sure why that is, and maybe that's a reasonable place to start the conversation. And to move the process forward.

I've seen some chatter online that this makes for great PR for a huge, profit-seeking corporation. I couldn't disagree more. All of us have different views of how different companies operate - how they price their products and services, treat their employees and customers or interact with the government. And sometimes, to be fair, some folks may not be their biggest fans. Fair enough.

But no matter how cynical you may feel about any given company, mental health isn't a hashtag. And there's nothing wrong with large companies using their largeness, brand and resources to focus corporate social responsibility on an issue that touches us all. And as much as some of us may see a dedicated day as a manufactured and packaged strategy to smooth out the old corporate image, for the rest of us it remains a prime opportunity to kickstart a process that should already be well underway, but for too many maddening and misunderstood reasons, still is not. If not them, then who? If not today, then when?

Tomorrow, of course, all of this will matter just as much as - if not more than - it does today. So don't just talk. Listen. Empathize. Act. Look inward at your own responses to those around you in need. Share this. Talk about it. Do something good for those around you. Question your own responses and ask yourself if you're doing enough, either for yourself or for others. And when today turns into tomorrow, do the same thing.

I'm under no illusions: A day of hashtag-driven awareness won't magically fix society's apparent inability to deal with this type of illness. When the sun rises tomorrow, too many among us will still wake up afraid to share their truth with others. They'll worry about losing their jobs. Their families. Themselves. Similarly, too many among us will be afraid to ask, afraid to have the conversation.

But as we've learned from the stories of true Canadian heroes like Clara Hughes, Michael Landsberg and Howie Mandel, silence isn't the answer. And from another Canadian hero, CJAD morning host Andrew Carter, who shared his story this morning, we've learned the dangers of silence. And as I learned from CJBK morning show hosts Lisa Brandt and Ken Eastwood today, there are two sides to the story.

So if you need to talk, then talk. And if you're on the other side of that conversation, take the time to listen. And to reframe how you feel about mental health, and what you're willing and able to do to help those closest to you.

Because silence is no longer the right answer.

Your turn: What's the first thing you'll do to #EndTheStigma?

On learning from unsuspecting teachers

"I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers."
Khalil Gibran

On making, not following, the rules

"Don't just play on your phone - program it."
Barack Obama

Thematic Photographic 398 - Footwear

Hey now, you're an all-star
London, ON
December 2016

Some designs are timeless, and I'm going to go out on a limb and conclude that the Converse All-Stars fit the  bill. These are the running shoes - sorry, sneakers - we all wore before athletic shoes became a multibillion-dollar business, before triple-digit prices for the latest superstar-endorsed Nikes became the norm.

But here's the thing: Those old shoes never quite went away. And while I'd never consider pairing up some LeBron-themed kicks with a suit, I did come [this close] to wearing red All-Star hi-tops - like the shoe on the right - to my wedding. Somewhere in our album, there's even a picture of me wearing them. My wife wisely suggested I change out of them before the actual ceremony.

So, back to this week's Thematic theme, footwear. Shoes don't just protect us from stepping on icky stuff on the streets. They tell stories about us. They evoke powerful memories. They make us smile. And for the next week, I hope we'll be able to return the favor with a few pictures.

Your turn: Take a picture that supports this week's footwear theme, then share it on your blog, website or social media account (or simply point to something you may have already posted.) Leave a comment here letting everyone know where to find it. Repeat through the week, and pop in on other participants to spread the photographic joy. Click here if you're new to Thematic. Otherwise, have at it. And have fun!

On the power of the gentle word

"A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles."
William Hazlitt

Something to keep in mind as this rather notable workweek gets underway. Despite it all, it all starts with us, with simplicity, with kindness.

Have I got a deal for you

Sleepy retail
London, ON
December 2016

On Christmas Day, my daughter and I wandered around Dundas Street for a bit. The light was iffy, and between icy sidewalks, marauding drug dealers and suspected prostitutes, we didn't hang around any longer than we needed once we were happy we had enough on our memory cards. I posted my first image here.

The experience left me ambivalent. On the one hand, this once-bustling retail street has struggled mightily to rise from the ashes as new business owners have moved in and tried to lay down substantial roots. There's an energy in the pockets of investment that dot this landscape, from the pub owned by the twentysomethings who enthusiastically greeted us on the sidewalk, to the food hub a block away that's redefining how communities are built and served.

On the other hand, the pub and the food hub are only two bright spots in a landscape that's been overwhelmingly ground down by decades of neglect and mismanagement. There's Just So Much Decay that a couple of examples of goodness can't be expected to repaint the entire neighborhood with a similar brush. At least not yet. Renewal takes time, and there's going to be a lot of messiness along the way.

Which brings me to this picture, a deliberately dead-on shot of the streetscape. It's obviously seen better days, but it also contains flashes of life that simply don't exist in a newer, tonier environment. I doubt I'd be pondering the history of a strip mall in a more conventional suburb - at least not to the same degree.

I want to come back here to see what else I can see. And feel. And what other flashes of life I can find along the way.

Your turn: Would you come here? Why? Why not?

On passion and possibility

"From passion, all is possible."
Tory Lanez

I think I'm going to rubber-stamp this one onto every visible surface in my home and office. Definitely words to live by.

Your turn: What's your passion?

The Kids in the Hall would be proud

Hand signals
London, ON
December 2016

Sometimes I get bored when I'm sitting in the stands, surrounded by masses of hockey fans who may or may not have had too much to drink, and may or may not be screaming advice to their favorite players in the futile belief that a) they can actually hear them and b) they actually care.

Don't get me wrong: I love the game. I'm Canadian, after all. But the culture that surrounds it can often be, shall we say, disquieting to those of us who don't drink, don't offer unsolicited advice to players, and just want to watch the game in relative peace.

Nope. Not here. So sometimes I play with my camera to pass the time. Any guesses what I'm doing here?

On Bryan Adams & social media

"Social media is a giant distraction to the ultimate aim, which is honing your craft as a songwriter. There are people who are exceptional at it, however, and if you can do both things, then that's fantastic, but if you are a writer, the time is better spent on a clever lyric than a clever tweet."
Bryan Adams

I've always admired Mr. Adams for his quintessentially Canadian approach to songwriting, and his kindness in supporting the music community from which he grew. He never forgot where he came from, and given his global success, that speaks volumes about his character.

I kinda like his perspective on social media, too.

May I please have some mayo?

Loopy
London, ON
January 2017

There are times when a jiggly mess of mayonnaise on a paper plate (don't worry, I cleaned and recycled it afterward) just begs to have its picture taken. So please allow me to submit that last night, 7:06 p.m., was just such a time.

Perhaps when we shot with film and had to haul out the big camera bag, weird and inexplicable photos like this one would have never been taken. But we live in the age of digital, and the cost - in processing, time and overall energy - has drifted close to that magical zero mark. Now, a flash of an idea quickly becomes pixellated reality thanks to the camera-equipped smartphone that's almost never out of arm's reach. And an understanding wife who appreciates the fact that I have a creative addiction.

We were (obviously) eating dinner. I probably could have taken the time to fetch the "good" camera, but in addition to being disruptive to my ever-patient family, it would have also defeated the purpose of the thing. Simple, fast scenes with virtually no rationale behind them - that's what the world needs more of. I've got to do more of that. Because it tickles the soul and hopefully makes everyone else smile and think when otherwise they might not be smiling or thinking. Who's with me?

P.S. No, I won't post anything about the Trump inauguration. Everyone else is talking about it, and I doubt I'll add much to the discussion. Our souls need more moments with jiggly messes of mayo, and not bigly moments of brag-filled narcissism. 

On one particular presidential nightmare

"Sometimes I wake at night in the White House and rub my eyes and wonder if it is not all a dream."
Grover Cleveland

Or, you know, a nightmare. Here we go, folks...

On dogs' short lives

"Dogs are a really amazing eye opener for us humans because their lives are compressed into such a short period, so we can see them go from puppyhood to adolescence to strong adulthood and then into their sunset years in 10 to 12 years. It really drives home the point of how finite all our lives are."
John Grogan

Missing our buddy

Kids' best friend
London, ON
October 2016

It's been a month since we put Frasier down, and echoes of this crazy puppy who changed our lives continue to reverberate through our home. I still look for him when I wake up in the morning, still schedule my evenings around walks that no longer happen, and still think I hear him trying to break through the baby locks we once kept on the kitchen cabinets.

It's still sad. Not lose-an-immediate-human-family-member sad, of course, but a loss to our family all the same. And we often find ourselves tumbling into spontaneous conversations about what it was like to have him, and how much we miss him.

But then I come across pictures like this one - taken on Zach's birthday - and I can't help but smile. He added an incredible dimension to our kids' lives, and he helped make them better people by teaching them what huge, ongoing responsibility looked like, and what empathy and unconditional love felt like.

As hard as the silence can be, we're glad we had him at all, because these three amazing not-so-little people will always carry those lessons forward. And if a single picture can capture that, I suspect this one does.

Related:
When a dog's life ends
Canine muscle memory
Pondering Frasier's handiwork
Where we take a walk in the snow

On stubbornly holding onto hope

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."
Anne Lamott

For reasons that I don't fully understand, but nevertheless feel compelled to honor, I think today is the perfect day to share this. Extra points if you blare Keep Hope Alive by Crystal Method while you read it. Here's a handy link.

Man shot on Dundas

I'm sure I didn't win any parent-of-the-year honors for taking our daughter to this stretch of Dundas Street for a quick Christmas Day photo shoot. While we were here, we witnessed a definite drug deal in an alley, a possible case of a prostitute turning a trick, and a cop hauling an abandoned pickup truck off of a filthy snowbank. All fairly predictable fare for this down-on-its-luck stretch of road just east of downtown that was once the city's prime shopping district.

So we were careful in our choice of subjects, because I'm guessing the drug dealer with the cheesy mustache didn't want his face shared on social media.

I normally wouldn't shoot a stranger on the street, but this particular scene seemed to capture the mood of the place, the stoic sense of the day-to-day that seems to define a part of town where nothing comes easy. The people who just want to lead their lives seem to wear that reality on their faces, and even in the way they stand.

As we finished shooting, put our cameras away and headed back to the car, I quietly wished to myself that they wouldn't have to endure the grit forever, that things would begin to change here.

New year, new hope, right?

On finding our path through darkness

"When autumn darkness falls, what we will remember are the small acts of kindness: a cake, a hug, an invitation to talk, and every single rose. These are all expressions of a nation coming together and caring about its people."
Jens Stoltenberg

Thematic Photographic 397 - Messy

Electronic interchange
London, ON
December 2016

Take a look at the pics we share online and one thing becomes instantly clear: We're pretty careful about curation. We choose the prettiest compositions, with the least amount of clutter or messiness. We avoid sharing anything that makes us look less pristine, less put-together, less perfect. Sharing ourselves in this age of social media has little to do with painting a complete picture. It's all about crafting the ideal image, and hoping that's enough to convince everyone else that we're worthy of their attention.

Kind of a waste, isn't it?

Which is why this week's theme, Messy, might be a bit of a challenge. Because it involves sharing photos we might normally avoid sharing, and showing strangers things we normally wouldn't choose to show. We're not looking for the pristine, put-together and perfect poses. We're looking for the stuff that usually gets edited out, that wouldn't normally see the light of day. If it's chaotic, askew or, yes, messy, please share it.

Your turn: Take a photo that suggests this week's "messy" theme - or find one from your archives - and post it to your blog, website, Facebook page, or any related online resource. Leave a comment here letting everyone know where to find it. Visit other participants to spread the photographic fun - and feel free to post additional pics through the week. Each theme runs for one week, and new themes go live Mondays at 7 pm. For more info on how Thematic works, just click here.