Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Publish Day - Not just a tie

I can't sleep tonight. Actually, that's a lie. I was sleeping, but now I've woken up and my eyes just don't want to get droopy again. It's 4 a.m. But since it's a Publish Day, I get to be one of the first to see my new column online.

Never mind that I saw it when I actually wrote it. It's not the same as when you actually see it for the first time in print or onscreen, there for all the world to see; out there. I've published scads of times in recent years, yet that thrill never seems to wear off, nor do I hope it ever does.

This piece is entitled Dad learns about the ties that bind. If you've been hanging out on my blog recently, it may look familiar to you. Sometimes, I like to try ideas out on the blog to see how you will respond. Every once in a while, something I post here will strike a particularly resonant chord. When this happens, I'll try to shape it into a column. Sometimes it'll work out and other times it'll simply flame out.

Since I had been on a bit of a rant-fest in recent weeks, I felt I needed to turn off the spigot of venom – temporarily, anyway – and return to the themes that bring comfort. When some of you so kindly shared your comments with me, I thought I was on to something. After I had shaped the post into a column and gave it to my wife, I knew this was the one.

I hope you enjoy it. When you're done reading it, I hope you'll come back and share your own thoughts on the following:
  • Have you had similar experiences with members of your own family?
  • How important are generational ties to you?

Thanks again for your continued support. Readers make the writing process go 'round, and I couldn't do this without the unbelievable feedback you all so willingly and generously share.

18 comments:

SquareSlant said...

Generational ties are extremely important and I feel sad for the people that don’t have them. They connect us with something more than just the “here and now”. They make us realize what is truly important. They give us a solid base to push off from when we try to spread our wings.

Your article showed that you had all that and more importantly – you are giving it to your son!

Great column!

Ella said...

Your column is wonderful.

I haven't really had similar experiences with my own family, but as my own children grow up I am looking forward to passing on those things my parents taught me. Generational ties are so important for reminding us that there is more to life than 'just us'. They can provide a sense of community that, sadly, is often lacking in today's isolated lives. Any having my own children seems to have brought the different generations of my family together and that has been wonderful.

jadedprimadonna said...

My daughter has this shirt that says, "I'm not a tomboy... I'm an ATHLETE." Up until quite recently, however, she was hesitant to endulge in very many "girly" things for fear of being told she should be a cheerleader instead of a basketball player. Yet, since this school year started, she's been a lot more interested in what I do when I get ready in the morning. She comes in and observes me put on makeup, fix my hair, etc. Recently, she went to get highlights for the first time, and I think that was kind of the turning point for everything. Suddenly, it's not just about watching me. She wants me to watch her put on eyeshadow to make sure she's doing it right. While this is all becoming increasingly expensive for me (lol - especially buying multiple purses for her to match her many shoes), it's really kind of fun to have that sweet little person there watching everything I do, wanting to be like me.

Loved the column!

Christine said...

Oh Carmi, that was beautifully written. Family ties are incredibly important to me. I enjoy genealogy, and after being given all the family records my grandfather worked for decades on, I feel those family ties even stronger. I am made up of a little of each of those people - it's amazing. I hope to pass this love of family and family history on to my children.

A Woman Changed said...

Last night, my father told me about a Civil War cannonball that has been in his family for years and years. He has decided to give it to me. I asked about its history. Where did it come from? Who found it? Who has been the safekeeper all these years? Dad didn't have any information about its historical placement...in our family. I don't care much that it's a national relic. I want to know about the familial details, the Rest of the Story as it ties into our family genealogy. No such luck, for me. But for your kids, they'll receive the enrichment of your historical perspective. Captured forever in your wonderful stories. Making it even more likely that they too will be able to share them with their kids, and so on. Keeping the history alive and intact.

honestyrain said...

i read the blog version when you first posted it. i liked it then and i like the published version too. it was very heart warming and you captured the moment and it's significance beautifully.

i cannot think of similar moments in my life. my children are almost four and almost 2. i look forward to all of these milestone moments. it's so wonderful to see them grow up into lovely people but the heart can barely stand the love it inspires.

honestyrain

Michele said...

As always, a simply wonderful article.

Simply stopping by ot say "Hello, Michele sent me." Yes Carmi, TAG you are it.

Thumper said...

It's probably just my really horrible memory, but I can't remember any moments like that with my parents. I can't even remember any with my son...but I will never forget 2 moments when the fact that he had turned into the man we always hoped he would: the day I had to tell him I had a brain tumor--without saying a word he got up and out his arms around me, and let me cry--and the day of my surgery to remove the tumor...he hovered there in the room as long as he could (until his dad sent him home to feed the pets), he wore the shirt he knew I loved so I would see it when I opened my eyes, and he resisted the "Looks like Mike Tyson punched you" jokes until I was home (and I did look like that...)

Some things just stick with you...maybe we remember those moments with our own kids more because we know what they mean...?

And Hi, Michele sent me, but I was already on my way here :)

Christine said...

I'm back! I had to stop back by - Michele told me to!

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Hello, Michele sent me and I'm very glad she did, it's always a joy to find a well-written blog. Me and generational ties: alas, that's far too long and complicated for a blog comment, so I'll just say that your column brought tears to my eyes. I'll be back.

an orange said...

A very touching, very sweet article. You've captured many of the details of that age that I wish I could remember; I know that I will probably remember them again when I have a child one day.

Zach wants to be called a pre-teen; I once referred to my mother and aunts as "kids" while I was driving them to the mall, and they were overjoyed.

Maura said...

Hello, Michele sent me. :-)

That was a lovely column and I enjoyed reading it. I don't have any kids, and no distinct memories of similar generational tie moments with my parents, unfortunately. But I think those who have them will always treasure them.

Ella said...

I've already been here today, but I'm back this time because Michele sent me!

tommy said...

Hello Michele sent me.

It was my grandfather that taught me how to tie a tie. Complete with a collection of 4 different styles of knots, alas I'm not so smart I can only remember how to do 2 of them.

Paula said...

Hello, Michele sent me. Lovely essay!

AverageMom said...

Hi, Michele sent me. Once again, she has sent me to a blog that I will love! I'll be back later!

Raehan said...

I like your spirit...and your site.

Michelle sent me, but I'll be back on my own.

Sleeping Mommy said...

I'm saying Hello because michele said to, but I've been here many times before.