Urban winter through a huge window

Legare Street, in winter
Montreal, QC
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

I don't like to talk about the weather. Everyone else seems to, though. They complain about how cold it is, about how tragic their lives have become because Mother Nature dared blow frost over the region.

While I don't deny the hardship - frozen pipes suck, as does a car that won't start, or a walkway that needs constant shovelling - I do take issue with our singular focus on it. And our singular belief that life sucks because of it.

It doesn't. Not for us, anyway. I'm pretty sure the homeless person who usually sets up camp under the bridge a 5-minute walk from work thinks our snowed-in house would be a lovely alternative to the options he faces tonight: Either freeze to death, or head to a shelter, or a church basement. I'm also sure the patient in ICU with an uncertain prognosis might give anything to pick up a shovel and hit the driveway. There's always someone with a harder story, and we dishonor them by pretending our woes are, in fact, woes.

Not wanting to talk about the weather, however, doesn't mean I don't want to somehow tell the story of it. Of what a moment in a wintry place might feel like. I'm not complaining: Just trying to record the experience so that others may be able to see it through my lens.

Which brings me to this shot of the Jewish General Hospital's Pavilion K. I took it from the inside looking out, through the gigantic atrium window overlooking Legare Street. It was a cold, sad day, one of many in a series, and the grey skies and frigid temperatures conspired to make this apocalyptic scene come alive.

Come alive. You can still do just that when the weather bottoms out. When life throws you curves. When you find yourself standing alone looking for a sign that life does, indeed, have merit.

Maybe I'm going to like talking about the weather, after all.

#montreal #yul #quebec #canada #jewish #general #hospital #jgh #health #window #building #architecture #architecturephotography #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #streetphotography #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #instagood #photooftheday #urban #street #photography #life #family #is #everything

Let's talk about #BellLetsTalk

I’ll admit I’m torn about today’s #BellLetsTalk campaign. On the one hand, anything that raises awareness of mental health, that prompts thought and conversation, that helps break down the stigma that often prevents victims from seeking help, that raises critical dollars for research and treatment, is by definition a good thing.

At the same time, if all we’ve done is reduce mental health awareness to a day’s worth of hashtag-sharing, then we’ve failed miserably. Mental health isn’t any more or less important on January 30th than it will be on the 31st, or on any other day of the year. Yet after the wave of attention inevitably dies down after midnight, the crushing realities of mental illness will continue to weigh on those who suffer from it.

I’ve got history

I come from a family that once openly mocked those who experienced mental health challenges. Victims were referred to as “cuckoo” or “not all there”. Mental health professionals were derisively called “shrinks”, and you were somehow less of a complete person if it got out that you went to one. Extended members of my family were simply dropped off the radar because they dared exhibit signs of mental illness.

I come from a family touched by suicide. It’s been four months and three days since we received that awful call, and not a moment goes by that I wonder why we still struggle with mental health even after national-scale campaigns like this one; and why these well-intentioned corporate investments simply aren’t enough.

Retweeting a tweet, quoting a hashtag, posting some cut-and-pasted content - that someone else wrote - in support of the campaign may very well raise awareness, but it doesn’t really start a conversation, and it doesn’t move us any closer to erasing the kind of attitude that marked my own childhood. It’s akin to greenwashing - wrapping a brand in green to suggest eco-friendliness - or pinkwashing, where a pink ribbon added to existing packaging implies an active solution to the scourge of breast cancer. Support and awareness are always laudable and necessary. But limiting the process to a marketing slogan, hashtag, or color, leaves us all short. If all you’re doing is wrapping yourself in the flag, you aren’t really doing much at all.

Do > Say > Click/Tap

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I don’t much care what you’re going to say online, today, in support of this one campaign. I am, however, interested in what you’ll do tomorrow. Will you spend time with a friend who you think may suffer from depression? Will you change your initial perceptions of others, perhaps be kinder and more considerate? Will you leave hashtag-driven and cut-and-paste hacktivism behind in favor of actually DOING something concrete in support of an actual person who experiences mental illness? Will you permanently alter the way you think and act?

We’ve been doing this #BellLetsTalk thing for a number of years. I’m quite certain most of us did the same thing this year that we did last: Shared, pasted, retweeted, repeated the same pithy tag lines the corporate sponsor’s been telling us to use in the leadup to today.

Ask yourself: Why has nothing changed in all this time? Why do we need Bell Media - my former employer, and a company well-known for terminating employees en masse, usually every November, and increasingly every April, too, not because they didn’t do their jobs well, but because the quarterly financials weren’t as rosy as investors would have liked - to tell us how to solve the riddle of mental illness?

We don’t. The answer lies with us. By doing. On an individual, everyday, often-unsung level. Your micro-decisions about how you choose to address mental illness - in yourself, or in those around you - in your day-to-day life, every day of the year, forever, will do more to end the stigma and help victims than any well-intentioned but ultimately incomplete media campaign.

What we really need is for mental health care to receive the same respect and funding accorded all other forms of health care in this country (and, let's be honest, in every country.) We should be ashamed that our society hasn't figured out how to deliver proper mental health care to those who most desperately need it. We should hold abusive employers to account, with updated workplace legislation that provides the same protections for mental health as it currently provides for all other types. We should be outraged with a political system that fails to address the stigma beyond sharing in this once-a-year online/on-air spectacle while our laws and infrastructure remain decades behind.

So please, by all means, feel free to share this post, because Bell will donate $0.05 every time you do so. I’ll be mighty happy if Bell writes an even bigger cheque this year than last. But don’t fool yourself into believing that you’ve now done your duty until the next #BellLetsTalk day rolls around. You haven’t. Not even close.

And that’s the danger of days like today: They convince us we’re doing enough. And we aren’t.

#EndTheStigma #MentalHealth

Related:
People with mental illness don’t need more talk
Philip Moscovitch, The Globe & Mail, January 28, 2019

Yes, we have no bananas

Eating healthy. Eventually.
London, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

I know what you're thinking: Bananas? Seriously? Freaking bananas? And green ones, at that?

Allow me to explain, for there's a reason they're showing up in my feed today.

I woke up before 4am today. The wind chill was touching -35C, and I had a pre-dawn date with a train, and a delightfully packed day in the big city to the east.

I successfully dressed myself in clothes that make me look like an adult, and managed to de-ice Henrietta v2.0 and drive her safely downtown. I'm pretty sure I have frostbite on my nose from the short final walk from the parking lot to Via Rail.

As I sit on a train rolling smoothly through the southwestern Ontario countryside, the window is cold and dark, with flashes of light as we pass by level crossings and strip malls. No one inside makes eye contact, the only discernible sound the tapping of keys from a laptop across the aisle.

Part of me wishes I could toss fairy dust over my fellow travellers, to bring them a small snippet of brightness to beat back the chilled, silent, grey pall of our current, collective existence. But that's apparently a no-no on Via Rail.

Hence the bananas, my simple attempt to jolt some color into a world that seems to have too little of it. These days I find myself looking for more scenes like this because I still believe they hold the potential to change the direction of those who see them.

Today it's green bananas. Tomorrow? Don't know yet, but I promise you it'll be similarly colorful and weird. Because we could all use a bit more of both.

#ldnont #toronto #yxu #yyz #the6ix #union #station #ontario #canada #via #viarail #train #rail #downtown #banana #bananas #green #stilllife #travel #travelphotography #streetphotography #google #pixel2 #teampixel #photooftheday #instagood #photography #family #is #everything

Old man in a forgotten window

Solitary
Montreal, QC
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

Another scene from a hospital; another shot I probably had no right to take. But took, anyway, because the list of so-called forbidden subjects is long, and my storyteller's voice has always focused on the stories that never get told.

There's a sadness that pervades this place. As much as this is an institution that performs medical miracles every day and restores hope, it is also one that cares for those in the final stages of life, for whom there is little hope.

On this day, everywhere I looked, that's all I saw. Lives lived in an endless veil of tests, procedures, perpetual waiting, solitude, gloom. No miracles or hope in sight. At one point, as I walked the corridors on the way back from a work session in the atrium, I couldn't find one smile over the entire journey.

The scene in the window across the inner courtyard seemed to sum up what it felt like to be here, alone, cast to the margins, with no hope of ever returning to the life that once was.

Perhaps I was just having a bad day, but that's how it felt in the moment, and nothing I had seen, heard, or felt that day, or that entire stretch of days, could convince me otherwise. As I peered into the distance and focused on this single patient in the dimly lit window, I imagined he felt the same way.

#montreal #yul #quebec #canada #jewish #general #hospital #jgh #window #stranger #monochrome #health #building #architecture #architecturephotography #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #streetphotography #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #instagood #photooftheday #urban #street #photography #life #family #is #everything

Not remotely disabled

Never stop
Montreal, QC
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

I probably shouldn't have taken this photo. Shooting strangers (photographically) in public spaces is often perceived by some as a somewhat grey area, and I realize I pushed it with this one.

But...

There's always a "but" with me, and it just as often starts with a jolt of something spiking itself through my brain. I had been seeing this man in various shared spaces throughout the hospital. He had been here the entire few months we've been returning here, and I'm quite certain well before then, too.

He was always out and about, usually surrounded by friends, or chatting with strangers. Whatever brought him here, it was clear he wasn't content to stay in his room, and instead routinely rolled through the halls in search of, if not adventure, then connection.

We were having a particularly challenging day upstairs, and coming across this scene seemed to snap me back into balance. Because it didn't matter what life threw this man's way - and it was obvious he'd endured more than his fair share - but whatever his challenges were, he simply pushed himself that much harder to keep moving, to remain viable.

I just couldn't let the moment slip away unnoticed. I couldn't let go of the lesson he clearly had for anyone who walked through these doors on that morning. And the rest of us, for that matter.

#montreal #yul #quebec #canada #jewish #general #hospital #jgh #wheelchair #health #building #architecture #architecturephotography #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #streetphotography #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #instagood #photooftheday #urban #street #photography #stranger #life #family #is #everything

Empty wheelchair in a long hallway

Echoes from long ago
Montreal, QC
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

We're often told, usually by our elders, to cherish our health, to appreciate it as a precious gift, for once we lose it there's often no way to get it back.

Walking through a mega-hospital like this one, you're constantly reminded of that, of the health that you have, but others do not. Part of me feels constantly guilty that, as I visit patients who have been here for weeks, or months, even, I can just as easily run down to the atrium to crack open my laptop and get some work done, or fish my car out of the parking lot and head home. I'm always one moment removed from a normal life outside these walls, while everyone else is stuck here.

I remember what it felt like, 4-year-old me, being left alone in this very hospital as my parents went home at the end of the day. Eventually it became normal for me, and I never begrudged their need to take care of their life outside this place. But initally, that feeling of being left alone felt...weird. I didn't want to be here, but I had no ability to leave under my own power. It was a humbling realization for a munchkin.

Cue the wheelchair, as there are two ways to look at it. It's either a sign of immobility, a message to everyone else of your body's limitations. Or it's a vehicle of sorts, a means to expand your current envelope and get around regardless of what life throws at you. My younger self chose door #2, and wheelchairs much like this one were often my breaking-the-rules escape from a darkened room at night.

Seeing this at the end of the hall triggered a powerful memory as I made my way back to my father-in-law's room. That I could do so under my own power was a reminder of how lucky I was then, and am today.

#montreal #yul #quebec #canada #jewish #general #hospital #jgh #wheelchair #building #architecture #architecturephotography #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #streetphotography #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #instagood #photooftheday #urban #street #photography #life #family #is #everything

The meaning of lights

It's our duty to shine brightly
London, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

At the risk of oversimplifying things, there are two kinds of people in the world: Those who are lights, and those who are not.

So-called lights look out for others, spend more time listening than speaking, go out of their way to be around when their presence is needed, even if it takes them out of their way. They speak of "we" instead of "me", and always find ways to make you feel better no matter what might be going on around you.

I've never made new year's resolutions because, let's be honest, they're useless. Wait an entire year to make a grand, life-changing proclamation on an arbitrarily defined day, only to abandon it days later because the weather was too cold, or you were too tired, or you simply stopped caring, or whatever excuse feels right in the moment.

But the concept of people-as-light seems to be resonating with me more strongly as we, collectively, navigate some of the darkest days of the year, and as we, our little family, do the same on a figurative basis. Simply put, being around the right people can make the difference between seeing through to the light on the other side, or not.

We're fortunate to be surrounded by countless lights, friends-who-have-become-family who have upended their own schedules to make sure we're ok. To say we're thankful is an understatement. We are truly blessed.

So, no resolutions. But focusing more on the lights while limiting our exposure to the lesser-lights sounds like a reasonable thing to do in the days, weeks, and months to come. And if we follow their lead and learn to shine brighter ourselves in the process, then we'll call it an extra blessing.

My question for you, then, is how will YOU be a light?

--
About this photo: LED bulbs over a kitchen at the newly-opened Info-Tech Research Group office in #ldnont. Because beauty is always found in the smallest details, and in the margins of everyday life.

#life #kingandridout #345ridout #downtown #urban #building #architecture #architecturephotography #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #light #led #electric #london #ontario #canada #google #pixel2 #teampixel @nicholsonsheffieldarchitects #workhardplayhard #bestjobever #hiring #family #is #everything

Where I'm almost stalked by a stranger

Secure parking
London, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

So the other night I'm walking through the icy, dark streets of downtown London after getting off the train from Toronto. My car is parked by the office, a few blocks away from the Via station, and as I often do, I'm stopping here and there whenever something grabs my eye. It's been a long day amid countless long days, and a little photographic inspiration in the gloom of a wintry night seems to help my spirit.

After my second little photographic pause, I hear something behind me. I turn back to see a man walking in the shadows, maybe 100 metres behind me. At first, instinct tells me to be suspicious, as this is a somewhat dodgy stretch. But something else in my gut tells me he isn't a threat. I look back again, and realize he's stopping at all the places I've stopped, and is taking photos, just like I am, with his smartphone.

I smile at the thought of a complete stranger following my lead simply because he happened to be walking behind me on a lonely stretch of York Street. I'm still smiling as I grab this muted image of the parking entrance to a rather huge apartment complex just across the street from work. It isn't much of a photo, but I think to myself this is going to be another one of those shots where the moment matters more than the pixels. I just as quickly put the camera away and continue across Ridout Street before getting to my car in the office lot.

As I get to my vehicle, I look back again and my new silent photographic friend is shuffling along the icy sidewalk, heavy soft briefcase in one hand, his other arm swinging opposite it as he barely maintains his balance. I stop myself from reaching out to him, because some connections are best left silent. The fact that I've inspired someone by simply taking a picture is enough for one night.

#ldnont #yxu #downtown #building #architecture #architecturephotography #engineering #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #google #pixel2 #teampixel #explore #urban #street #photography #concrete #parking #streetphotography #photooftheday #instagood #life #london #ontario #canada #family #is #everything

#LdnONT elitism rears its ugly head

Anyone who knows me knows I love my city. I wasn't born here in London, Ontario, but for 22 years it's been a wonderful home for my family and an amazing place to raise three kids. We've been able to lead a life here that simply wouldn't have been possible anywhere else, and for that we are grateful.

Loving my city, however, doesn't mean I'm blind to its faults. This is a city that hasn't always embraced diversity as much as it should. It could do a better job taking care of those who need more care. It has failed to take on, head-on, the kinds of issues, like transit, economic stimulus, and sustainable growth, that competing cities in our region and elsewhere embraced decades ago. We've often been so focused on petty political infighting that we've forgotten how to compete.

Every year, the mayor speaks at the State of the City breakfast at the downtown convention centre. This year, the sellout crowd of 1,400 heard newly elected mayor Ed Holder lay out his vision for London. As expected, his speech was chock full of potential. He led with a promise to create 13,000 jobs, and also pledged to do more for our most vulnerable citizens. Better transit, improved safety, and a more efficient permits and approvals process, rounded out his list of must-dos.

Sounds great. If you were there.

In past years, the event's organizer, the London Chamber of Commerce, has arranged a livestream of the speech. In the leadup to this morning's event, journalists covering it shared on social media that they expected the livestream to be available.

No dice. At 8:12 a.m., London Free Press reporter Megan Stacey confirmed that there would be no livestream, and London Chamber of Commerce CEO Gerry McCartney was the one who made the call. Here's Stacey's tweet:

"No live stream. Chamber of Commerce boss Gerry Macartney has put the brakes on that, says 'this is a private event. People buy tickets.' Can’t have it live streamed to the masses at home. Also says it screwed up equipment last year."

The response, as you might expect, was swift. Londoners of all political stripes scorched their social media feeds for most of the day, making it clear that they felt this decision was elitist to the core, and an ugly example of the kind of thinking that has long held this city back.

I fully concur. This isn't a football game whose multibillion-dollar TV deal requires broadcasters to black out the broadcast in the host city for fear of killing ticket sales. This is a democratically elected mayor sharing his perspective with the citizens of the city he leads.

With 1,400 people stuffing the main hall of the convention centre, it's obvious they didn't need to sell any more tickets. And even if it hadn't been a sellout crowd, the optics of three Airbus A-380s worth of people representing the business elite of the city - because they can afford the price of a ticket, or are sufficiently privileged to work for a sponsoring organization - having exclusive access to this critical message are, on a good day, ugly.

The thing is, I've worked with Mr. McCartney many times over the years, and I've always admired and respected him. Still do, in fact. But that admiration doesn't temper my disappointment in his inability to effectively read the population's tea leaves, and the reality that the very misconceptions he's worked so hard for so long to banish were reinforced, and then some, by his boneheaded decision to shut the livestream down.

The message, intended or not, was easy to follow: If you can't afford a ticket, you don't deserve to hear your mayor speak. Put another way, you've got to pay for access.

The "it screwed up equipment last year" is a damning statement about a city that's invested so much in attracting high-tech business to its core. London is far better than this - I know this because I work every day right in the middle of this ecosystem - and having our Chamber of Commerce so blithely block access because it fears losing ticket sales and it lacks the technical chops to livestream a guy talking from the podium for 30 minutes is a serious misstep that should not be allowed to stand the next time our mayor approaches a microphone.

Your turn: Thoughts?

Headed home by train

Here, for now
Toronto, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

The scene: Toronto's Union Station, Wednesday, 5:07 p.m. The Via train back to London has been delayed, and we're sitting on the track waiting to get going. I stare across the station and find myself wondering about the folks on the Go commuter train on the parallel track. Hundreds of thousands of people come through this place every day, and every single one of them has a story. I can see a few of them waiting, just like me, by the windows of their train, settling in for a hopefully comfortable ride home after a long day in the big city.

I imagine that, like me, they left well before sunrise and are returning after sunset. I imagine they, too, found themselves walking silently through the perpetually-under-construction belly of this place, the only sound the relentless drumbeat of dirty boots on dirty industrial flooring. I assume their heads were down, avoiding eye contact with strangers, their only interaction the occasional brush of someone's backpack as everyone jostled for position in the station's narrow, twisty corridors.

I don't have my "real" camera with me today. I've been trying to lighten my load on these marathon day-trips. All I have is my smartphone, and shooting through a dirty window from a fully-lit train car isn't much of a recipe for photographic excellence. But the shove-the-phone-right-up-to-the-window trick sometimes turns the impossible into the possible. So I press into the cold glass (pro tip: the rubbery outer case on an OtterBox is super useful when composing this way) and line everything up.

It's hard to feel poetic about a place like this, but the resulting photo makes me smile. Because on a cold, grey, wet day in a cold, grey, wet place where most people are trying their hardest to pretend they're all alone, I found light and color, and hope that maybe the world around us isn't as harsh as we think it is.

#toronto #yyz #the6ix #union #station #ontario #canada #via #viarail #train #rail #downtown #building #architecture #architecturephotography #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #travel #travelphotography #streetphotography #google #pixel2 #teampixel #photooftheday #instagood #photography #family #is #everything

The green bridge near the office

Timeless
London, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

I work near the Forks of the Thames, the point just to the west of London's downtown core where two branches of the Thames River converge into one. The area is surrounded by bike paths, and is crossed by a pedestrian bridge. On any given day, even in the dead of winter, the area is filled with people walking to and from nearby offices to nearby homes, or simply taking in the scene. As you can imagine, it's a beautiful place to spend some quiet time.

I took this long-lensed view of that pedestrian bridge on a recent lunchtime walk for a number of reasons: a) I dig bridges; b) I love the geometry of this one, specifically the clean, green lines suspended high in the air; c) Every time I look at old engineering or architecture, my head floods with thoughts of the engineers and architects who designed and built it, and are now no longer alive.

I wonder what the folks who built this bridge would think if they knew it was still being used - and loved - by so many, so many years on. They'd probably be proud that their work not only lasted, but meant something to people they both knew, and would never even meet.

Work that means something. That thought lingers in my head as I tuck the camera away, slide my hands back into my pockets to ward off the chill, and begin making my way back to the office.

#ldnont #yxu #downtown #green #bridge #building #architecture #architecturephotography #engineering #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #explore #urban #street #photography #streetphotography #canon #canon_photography #canonphotograph #life #london #ontario #canada #family #is #everything

Take me to church

Up close, personal, and historic
Empey Hill, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

When you get lost-but-not-really-lost in the countryside, finding the right spot to stop and gather your bearings is key. Thanks to some pretty sweet connected-GPS tech in the car, I knew exactly where I was, and I wasn't exactly worried they'd find me in a snowdrift three months from now.

But the cops had closed the highway because of a massive truck fire, then dumped us off an exit in the middle of nowhere with no additional guidance. I turned right when I should have turned left, and found myself wandering around alone, looking for a way west on some alternate road, preferably with asphalt on it. I needed to stop and figure out where the detour route was, and this friendly-looking church offered a safe place to park the car while I played with my tech toys and plotted my next move.

Of course my mind raced as I carefully parked Stella well off the road. Of course I started composing photos in my head before the car stopped moving. Of course this was going to be far more than a mere blip in a long day at the wheel.

As I walked right up to the Empey Hill United Church of Canada and sized the building up through my lens, I thought about how weird this must look, a strange guy taking random pictures of a building. For a brief second, I thought I heard sirens in the distance, called in to deal with this sketchy-looking dude. Thankfully, the place was empty, and I figured if I was my usual respectful-storyteller self, the greater good of sharing this moment justified my being here. At least that's what I often tell myself to justify an activity charitably classified as trespassing. Well, they DID say "Everyone Welcome" on their sign.

This place was built in 1912, long before any of the technologies that brought me here were even in some kid's dreams. Somewhere along the way, we learned how to expand our horizons. I may have been temporarily lost, but I was apparently exactly where I needed to be.

#deseronto #ontario #onroute #random #country #street #church #street #photography #shoot #shooting #trees #highway #weather #wx #road #trip #travel #car #auto #automotive #carporn #stella #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #canada #family #is #everything

Related entries:
Lost among the ruins of agriculture
Abandoned farmhouse on an empty road

Where birds gather against the cold

Isn't it more comfortable inside?
Napanee, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

Way across the highway from the rest stop where I've come to recharge my proverbial batteries, there's this farm that could easily do double duty in a Norman Rockwell painting. Every time I pass this place - often, recently - I quietly tell myself I need to shoot it. But in the typical road trip rush, it never gets done.

On this day, I'm alone, so it's a little easier to convince everyone in the car to wait a few extra minutes while the psycho-photographer shoots random landscape pictures in the freezing cold for no apparent reason. So just before I get back on the on-ramp to continue my trip, I pull the camera out and get to work.

My original intent is to simply shoot the silo. The lines and texture seem appropriate for this grey, sad day, and it's been a while since I zoomed in on agriculture. Only after I zoom in do I notice the gaggle of birds huddled on top of the silo, resting and sharing warmth before continuing their journey.

I guess I'm a lot like them, not destined to be here for very long, doing everything I can to be cozy, comfortable, and rested for the long journey ahead. We're all on some kind of journey, after all, and even if we don't know where our fellow travellers are headed, or what their story may be, it doesn't hurt to try to connect with them in some way before you all head your separate ways, never to cross paths again. Humans, birds, it's all the same.

In the overall scheme of things, it's just a bunch of dumb birds sitting on a building not far from the town where Avril Lavigne grew up. Meaning it shouldn't be worthy of a single photo, let alone additional thought. Yet for some strange reason I can't let it go.

That thought sticks with me for a while as I accelerate up to speed and put the silo, and its resting birds, in my rear-view. Because connections take many forms, and it's up to us whether or not we wish to make them.

#napanee #ontario #canada #onroute #country #farm #photography #shoot #shooting #trees #highway #weather #wx #road #trip #travel #car #auto #carporn #stella #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #bird #birds #birdsofinstagram #naturephotography #family #is #everything

A puppy stands guard

Everything okay, Dad?
London, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

We often ask ourselves why we have a dog. We also often ask ourselves why we got ANOTHER dog after losing our previous pup.

There's no real answer to either of these related questions, because getting a dog has little to do with getting answers to questions. Or being logical.

But when the world spins out of control and a little being with limited language skills, no off-button, non-opposable digits, and a nasty habit of chewing on furniture decides you need an extra cuddle, you quickly realize why. Dog people understand what this feels like.

Deep inside her Miniature Schnauzer psyche, she knows her humans need that little extra. She may not understand the various details, the worry in her people's voices, the phone calls at all hours of the day and night, the strange travel schedules. But she sure has the man's-best-friend thing nailed down.

That face is a lovely bonus. She's lucky she's so cute. We're lucky we have her to lean on.

#ldnont #Calli #CalliTheSchnauzer #LittleMissCalli #puppy #puppiesofinstagram #dog #puppy #pup #actofdog #miniatureschnauzer #schnauzer #schnauzerpuppy #schnauzersofinstagram #schnauzer_planet #petstagram #instadog #dogsofinstagram #instapuppy #pets #life #universe #family #is #everything

Lost in an underground parking lot

Parked amid the shadows
Montreal, QC
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

Tuesday, 10:25 a.m. on the lowest level, S6, of the parking structure beneath the Jewish General Hospital in Montreal. I've just said goodbye to my father-in-law and am about to hit the road for the long drive, alone, back to London. Debbie's back upstairs with him.

The walk down here was slow, long, and pensive. Did I just see him for the last time? Did he know it was me? Did he know how much I loved him and appreciated the fact that he made so much of my life today possible?

I have no answers to any of these questions. Which likely explains why, even here in the dimly lit murk of a parking lot, I'm reluctant to leave, reluctant to put this star-crossed place firmly in my rear-view. As if by staying I might change the outcome. If only.

As I walk slowly toward our car, I feel the damp air on my face, hear the sounds of slamming car doors and starting engines in the distance, smell that weird mixture of damp concrete and dust that defines these industrial-feeling spaces. I keep looking around, for precisely what I don't know, but I need to create something, now, to record this moment before I forget what it felt like to be here.

I see this row of cars, unevenly parked behind the yellow line. The scene is imperfect, everything within it scratched, smudged, dirty. It reflects how I feel, even if shooting it fails to make me feel better in the moment. I return to our car and slowly make my way up the ramps before emerging into the cold, grey day above.

There will be no light today, no resolution, no solace. But it's still time for me to leave. For now.

#montreal #quebec #canada #jewish #general #hospital #jgh #building #architecture #architecturephotography #grey #concrete #facade #windows #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #streetphotography #google #pixel2 #teampixel #instagood #photooftheday #urban #street #photography #life #family #is #everything

Abandoned farmhouse on an empty road

Take a look inside
Empey Hill, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

There was a lot to see during the 6 minutes I spent parked beside a nearly empty country road in the shadow of a clearly empty country church*. This seemingly abandoned farm building was what caught my eye in the first place, a slowly decaying snapshot of a once-vibrant rural-agricultural life, now slowly giving way to modern reality in a spate of For Sale signs.

Whoever built this place so long ago seems to have built it to last. Someone cared, and I feel a small shot of warmth amid the bone-chilling cold as I think about how I'm now connected to someone from an earlier generation whose work has now rippled out to me. It's a tenuous connection, of course, but any connections these days are worth holding onto.

As I move through my mental shot list before losing feeling in my fingers, I think about who would have used this building, where they are now, and why they left. I wish I could see what this place, this community, was like in its heyday. I wish time didn't always have to gradually erase the people, frameworks, and moments we hold most dear.

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* See here for more.

Broken tree in a desolate place

One among many
Morrisburg, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

The scene: I'm standing in a parking lot in Morrisburg, Ontario, looking across the highway at a stand of trees. In the middle of overwhelming life events, I find staring at trees - or crumbling barns, or checkerboard floors, or hamburgers, or old cars, a morgue, or whatever - to be calming, as if looking at random, trivial, inanimate objects can fix the universe. Of course it can't, but as long as you're in the moment, you feel a little better. And that's probably good enough.

I'm originally drawn to these trees for two reasons: 1) There isn't much else to look at out here, and 2) I like the straight-line geometry of the scene. Except when I look more closely in the viewfinder, I notice one of the trees is broken. And not just broken. REALLY broken, like that YouTube video of Lawrence Taylor breaking Joe Theismann's leg on Monday Night Football that makes you squeamish the 20th time you've watched it.

I momentarily consider not taking the picture because it no longer represents my original intent. Then I stop myself, because who says the original intent was optimal in the first place? Maybe there were other stories to be told. Maybe it's OK if you allow things to evolve as they were meant to evolve.

So I stare back into the viewfinder, focusing on the broken tree. I notice it's surrounded by countless other trees. It doesn't stand alone. Rather, it stands protected despite its own rather precarious state.

As I get back into the car and continue toward my father-in-law's hospital room 150 km to the right of this photo, it dawns on me that the community-of-trees metaphor is an appropriate one. Because we, too, are surrounded by a community that stands ready to help, no matter how broken we may be at the moment.

It's why, challenging as life for us may be right about now, I'm thankful to be that one tree among many. I can't imagine what it must be like to stand alone.

#morrisburg #ontario #onroute #random #urban #street #photography #shoot #shooting #tree #trees #highway #weather #wx #road #trip #travel #car #auto #automotive #carporn #stella #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #canada #family #is #everything

Lost among the ruins of agriculture

Forgotten
Empey Hill, ON
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

It's mid-afternoon in the middle of Ontario. I've just left the OnRoute rest stop after spending entirely too much time there doing nothing, because that's what rest stops are for. I was wiped, and the break did me some good.

As I accelerate back onto the highway, I see some smoke on the horizon. I don't give it much thought, as it's a common sight on a super-cold Canadian-winter day. But the plume continues to grow and darken, until it's obvious something's up. As my traumatized brain makes the connection, a police cruiser, lights flashing, passes me at warp speed, its pressure wave shoving me to the right.

Soon enough, traffic stops dead, and as the cops detour us off the highway, I can see an 18-wheeler burning like a roman candle in the distance. I say a prayer and follow the line.

Doofus that I am, I turn right instead of left when we get to the first intersection, and soon find myself alone in the hinterlands, clearly lost. I stop the car at an empty church to get my bearings. As I play with the GPS, I realize I'm surrounded by ruined farm buildings and some impossibly gorgeous landscape.

The angel and devil over my shoulders start to argue. I've got to get home tonight, but I can't help but think the universe has other plans for me today. The devil wins, so I reach into the back seat, grab my camera, and head out for a fast shoot.

The time stamps say I was there for 6 minutes before I packed everything away, got back into the car and turned on every source of heat to thaw out my now-frozen self. Sometimes you need to follow the little voice inside that says adventure must win today. Sometimes you need to ignore the voice of reason and just let those random moments play themselves out.

#deseronto #ontario #onroute #random #country #farm #street #photography #shoot #shooting #trees #highway #weather #wx #road #trip #travel #car #auto #automotive #carporn #stella #canon #canon_photography #canonphotography #ontario #canada #family #is #everything

Windows 2019

Magic in every one
Montreal, QC
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

These aren't just any windows, and this isn't just any building. I feel like a voyeur pointing my lens toward them and trying to shoot a photo. But I need to do so for two reasons:

First, photography - especially of things outside the glass - provides a temporary release from the insanity that's playing out inside it, a time-out, if you will, from watching someone you love go through something you wouldn't wish on anyone.

Second, the people in the offices across the courtyard are medical professionals - doctors, nurses, researchers, administrators - who either treat the sick, or look for ways to eradicate sickness altogether. And I hope the folks who come here for treatment, and the families who support them, are able to take a moment to think about the thousands of people responsible for their care, and what it took for them to get there. Because you don't get to sit behind one of these windows (or more likely run endlessly around the floors of this giant complex) unless you're truly extraordinary.

The architecture may be late-90s health-care chic, the kind of building designed expressly to have a donor family's name emblazoned in giant letters above the entrance. But beyond the one-time ribbon-cutting event, this building doesn't exist to wow anyone. Its mission is to create an environment where hope can be returned to those without it. Or compassion and care can be shared with those who may have no hope at all.

My original goal here was to simply shoot the most linear, aligned photo possible. But as I endlessly played with the camera - geometry was never my thing - I realized there was so much more to this scene. I always enjoy when the simple act of shooting a scene manages to open my eyes just a little bit more. My fears of being a voyeur notwithstanding, perhaps I need to spend more time staring out windows, wherever I may be.

#montreal #quebec #canada #jewish #general #hospital #jgh #building #architecture #architecturephotography #grey #concrete #facade #windows #design #buildingporn #architectureporn #streetphotography #google #pixel2 #teampixel #instagood #photooftheday #urban #street #photography #life #family #is #everything

Oratory. Longshot.

Where life once was
Montreal, QC
January 2019
This photo originally shared on Instagram

My father-in-law's hospital room overlooks the interior courtyard of a number of buildings, old and new. No one walks into this forbidding place unless they're certified to repair the witches brew of HVAC equipment that dots the asphalt-pitched roofing below. There is no view to speak of here.

Yet if you stand in the far corner of his room and look out just so, you'll catch a glimpse, way in the distance, of St. Joseph's Oratory looming above St. Mary's Hospital, a snippet of skyline in a place you'd think had none to offer. You have to know it's there, and even then stealing a glance out the window is difficult to justify given what's happening just inside it.

This scene is rich with family and personal history. The oratory is Canada's largest church, whose steps I used to climb, again and again, when I lived in the neighborhood and needed challenging places to run. The hospital below it is where our eldest son was born. This is the view that greeted me when I was a child and stayed in the same hospital my father-in-law is in now.

But none of that mattered on this early morning, as I noticed the glint of winter light off the brick and stole the moment as we took over from the night attendant - and as my wife did what she could to ease the fears of a man whose mind no longer commands the room as it once did. He's never seen this view, and as I took it in, I wondered if he'd even recognize it if I showed it to him on my phone. Likely not, but I'll never know if I don't at least try.

I don't know if it's even appropriate to be shooting here. But something tells me I need to, because the stories we tell now will eventually be all that's left.

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