Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day sucks. If you let it.

Pardon the link bait-ish headline. I have a rocky relationship with modern holidays designed to sell stuff, and this one's no different.

Be that as it may, it's never a bad thing when folks take the time to let each other know how they feel. We all need to feel loved and connected. It is, after all, a key ingredient of feeling whole.

As I tap away with my thumbs while getting ready for work, I can hear the house filling with V-day references. Even the dog is getting extra love. It's a smiley day, and heaven knows we all need as many of these as we can possibly get.

The sad thing about holidays like today is they are but one day. They're over so quickly that it's easy to lose the script until another year passes. We build up to this unsustainable moment. Then it's done. And so many of us forget the in-between, the other 364 days of the year when a kind word or paused moment would also make such a difference to those around us.

So, here's what I'm going to do. Today, I'll share the joy with the most important people in my life. Tomorrow morning, I'll do it again. And the next day. And the next and beyond. I won't wait until next February 14th to let them know how much they mean to me. I hope you won't wait, either.

Your turn: Thoughts?

14 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I've never been fond of Hallmark holidays... When I worked in a dept. store int he gift wrap dept.. My thoughts changed about Valentines', mother's and father's day... It seemed as tho people only remembered their loved ones during those holidays.. It brought out the worst in them.. I am sure the intended would give back the presents if they realized that most were bought w/little thought, wrapped w/bribes of money to get their gift wrapped first... The cosmetic ladies as well as the lingerie ladies use to laugh watching men come in at the last minute yelling " just get me anything'... If I heard that come out of my hubby's mouth I would tell him where to stick the cosmetic or lingerie....
For me the best gift is something that wasn't warranted.. I loved the hand made cards and have kept every single one...from my 3 kids. Its fun seeing how over the years their style of picking out cards and written sentiments they would add has changed over the years...I have 3 sentimental kids... The boy being the one who may not realize how his cards can start the waterworks going...

lissa said...

Since you first began posting about this holiday on your blog, I have quoted you to others who either dread or anticipate the day. This morning I heard a psychologist on the radio say, "If you do nothing the rest of the year, and you do nothing today, you are IN the doghouse!" I vehemently disagree with her and though this wasn't a call-in show, I would have! If you do something today BECAUSE it's the day, you might get points but the deeper meaning would be that of "an excuse" or hypocritical action.

I remember asking my mom, as a kid, "there's Mother's Day, and there's Father's Day - when is it Kids' Day?" Her answer - as I'm sure every mom answered the same question - was, "EVERY day is kids' day!"

So should it be for Valentine's Day. Thank you, Carmi, once again, for your eloquence and your wisdom.

srp said...

I don't care for Valentine's Day that much either. But I loved it as a kid. In school we made our own Valentine boxes out of shoe boxes and decorated them with heart shaped paper doilies and glued on candy hearts. We used the dried alphabet macaroni and glued on our names and other phrases... be mine, love u, sweet, .... etc. It was tradition that every one brought Valentine's for each person in the class so that everyone's box was filled.

Now that I think of it.. I think that most of the enjoyment was not really in the Valentine, per se.. but rather in the fact that it felt like a day where as a child.. our mail boxes were stuffed with letters just for us. It was more of a "you've got mail" thing. Really. It was the one day.. as kids.. where we got the most mail.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

@SRP: i remember when I worked in the class rooms the teacher was forever reminding kids to give cards to all... Nothing is worse than a kid who doesn't have a 'full mailbox'..

Karen S. said...

I too have always had trouble with Holidays. Becoming an adult (now I have a say)my thoughts are okay I'll do the expected carry on tradition for my children, their children etc. but to me okay it's Mother's Day but Tuesday nothing is just important. In fact when you choose to do something on plain old Thursday, hey we are truly connected. Back before my parent's both left this world, we sanctioned EVERY Sunday to be family day. Mostly because it's a day off for everyone, arrive when ever for food, togetherness, LAUGHTER and love. It's that simple. One thing about Holidays though is it can/usually involve reflection before it arrives/and afterwards where we can discover a lot of who we are.

Suzanne said...

Couldn't agree more!

David said...

i hope i have told you this before...
'I love your blog!'

hehe - Kepp up the good work, raising and shepherding a family through the modern maze of this life.

Gilly's Camera said...

hummmmm

if i could rewind today....that would be great

our valentines day so far has not been the best ever AND the blame lies fairly and squarely with me

:(

fredamans said...

Every day should be Valentines Day!

Sadly, it is not this way. SO I will continue to enjoy this Hallmark holiday for what it's worth. Flowers, candy and lots of sex with my husband.

:-D

me said...

My boy toy just called to say "hey the gutter just pulled off the back of the house, there is too much snow for me to completely assess the damage."

and so I say Happy Freaking VD

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I agree with you Carmi....I like Valentines Day because it is a reminder to tell people you love them...But I try to do that every day, if I can...!

Thank you so much for your kind words about the loss of Dear Dear Betty....She always said I Love You at the end of every Phone conversation....And I said that to her too....I'm so glad I did.

forestwalk/laura k said...

agree. i have never been fond of holidays that seem to be created just so people will buy cards...and gifts.

holidays...in general...turn my stomach into a ball of knots. (except for halloween & st patty's day)

Chibi Janine said...

I not really one for valentines day as I tell my husband and my little boy I love them all the time, I still got all gooey though when my husband got me a rose while he out with my little lad. It was even more sweet as he gave it to my little lad to give to me, sometimes little tokens of love can really cheer you up.

Pamela said...

I may disagree with "sucks"....
but I do so agree with everything else you said.