It's never good news when the phone rings in the middle of the night. Tonight was no different.
It was my mom. My dad died suddenly earlier tonight.
I don't quite know what to say or do, except our kids will be up in a few hours, and I can't even begin to imagine how I'm going to find the right words to tell them.
Some days, I wish life could be easier. Or longer. Today is one of them.
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Be Still, Advent Day 19: Shine Your Light
12 hours ago
87 comments:
I'm so very sorry Carmi, I'll be holding you all very close in my heart.
May his memory be a blessing to all who knew him. Yihyeh zichro baruch.
Oh my goodness Carmi. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please know my thoughts are with you and your entire family in this sad time. Try and be positive and know all the memories you have of him will be with you forever. My sincerest condolences. Aloha!
So sorry. This is one of those times when words are not enough. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts. My sincere condolences.
*sheeeesh!!!*
so sorry, Carmi,
we pray for comfort for you and yours.
:-(
..
.ero
Carmi, you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
It is one of those times when words are completely inadequate. Just hold your family close.
Carmi.... Big love to you and your family Carmi. Know that many walk with you today and the next and the next..... xx
Oh dear Carmi, I am so sorry! Losing a loved one is never easy, and to lose one so suddenly is sometimes harder to process. I'll pray for comfort for you and your family during this difficult time.
If words could bring comfort we would all be writing you sonnets. My heart and prayers are with you, your family, and everyone who loved your father.
I am so sorry for your loss, Carmi.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
I am so very sorry Carmi. My heart is with your family today...take care.
Breeze
No, it never is good when the phone rings in the middle of the night. I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you were very close to your father.
Praying for you Carmi! Especially that you will have the words to comfort your little ones! So sorry!
Coming out of lurkdom to say, I am so, so sorry.
What a horrible thing. I'm so sorry. On some level, I know what you're feeling. Several years ago, we got a call in the middle of the night announcing a best friend's death. Very sudden and completely unexpected.
I can't imagine the first time I will have to lose a parent, nor how it must feel for it to happen like this. Good luck with your children.
I am so sorry for your loss. I wasn't sure from Facebook if this was your father or Debra's. I dread getting that phone call some day...our parents are such stable fixtures in our lives...it's hard to imagine them not being there. I wish I had something to offer that would be a real comfort, but know that you are in our thoughts. I'm so very sorry.
Twenty-six years ago, I got just such a call. My mom had died at fifty-five. Today, I can still be brought to my knees by her absence. You will learn to compartmentalize your pain and sorrow, but you will carry it with you wherever you go. No getting around that.
There is a Story People (artist Brian Andreas) piece that says, "After his father died, he carried his life more gently, & left an empty space for the birds and other creatures." I hope your family will find solace in your memories of your father, and joy from the love you shared with him.
I am VERY VERY sorry for your loss Carmi!!!! :(
My sincerest sympathy for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Wow, I'm really sorry Carmi.
May the Almighty comfort you amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your loved one. It's never easy any way you look at it. I'm sure you will find the right words or hugs to comfort your kids. The dog will be a great comforter too.
sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
I'm so sorry to hear that Carmi. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family, especially as you talk/talked with your children this morning. Breaks my heart thinking about it.
A moment we're all dreading to have to go through, sooner or later. Always too soon.
I'm so sorry.
Nothing I can say will make up for your loss. All I hope is that they can comfort you a little.
I am very sorry, Carmi. I wish I had some words to make it better. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please take care of yourself.
Carmi I am so sorry for your loss! Know all of our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I'm so sorry, Carmi. Sending best thoughts for you, Ari and your respective families.
Carmi, I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending you lots of hugs. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Hold on to all those wonderful memories... He'll be there always.
I talk to my Dad every day, still. I can't believe we lost him almost 2 years ago, now.
*hugs*
So sorry for your loss, Carmi. Keeping your family in my thoughts.
My first thought when I read this was how ironic -- or perhaps portentous -- it was that you selected the theme "Temporary" for this week's Thematic Photographic. Nothing, not even the certainty that nobody here gets out alive, can ever prepare us for the loss of someone dear to us. We see it coming practically from birth, and still...
I always suck at knowing what to say at times like this. And even having been through losing my own dad 9 years ago, I still don't know the words that might bring any comfort.
But I have some, even though they're not my own. Passed on to me by a friend, who had them passed on to her. I'm sure you've heard them before (you've been around my blog enough, you had to have heard them at some point) but they always ring true.
"The only way around these things is through them. So if you bury your dead, bring a shovel, if you burn them warm to the fire. Look into whatever riddance you consign them to. Lend a hand, stand and weep or watch and wonder. But stay until it's done. Keep the names of your dead alive among your people. You get one father, one mother, one true love, one life and maybe a couple of good dogs. There is no easy way to do this. So do it right: weep, laugh, watch , pray, love, live, give thanks and praise; comfort, mend, honor and remember."
To that I can only add that all of my very best thoughts are with you and Debbie and the kids this day. Your dad was a great man. I don't have to know him to know this, because he's reflected in his son. You've done him proud and now his work is finished and he can rest.
For some moments in life there are no words.
~David Seltzer
No adequate words.
I'm so sorry Carmi. Lifting you and your family up in prayer. Comfort and peace as you grieve one so dear.
Oh Carmi, I am so very sorry for your loss.
May he rest in peace.
Yihyeh zichro baruch.
So sorry, Carmi. I am praying for strength and healing for you and your family.
hoping for right words and special moments as your family spends time together
bless you all
My sympathy and condolences Carmi.
May you all find comfort in each others shared grief and open arms.
Oh, man, Carmi, I am so, so sorry... I don't even know what to say because I know how badly this hurts. You have my most sincere condolences, and as cliche as it sounds, my thoughts are with your family today.
Loss of a parent is one of the most painful emotions one can face.
But one has to cope. May you be strong for yourself, your family, your mom.
My prayers are with you
i'm so very sorry. our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
There are no words. I'm so sorry.
All my thoughts to you Carmi.
Hugs, Anna
Oh, Carmi. I am so very sorry to hear this. My sincerest sympathies go out to you and your family. May God be with all of you right now.
I'm so sorry Carmi.
Carmi, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts will be with you, Debbie, and the kids.
I pray God holds you all close in His arms so very very sorry. x
Sorry for your loss Carmi.
Ha-Makom y'nachem et'chem b'toch sha'ar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim.
-ec
Carmi,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts during this very sad time.
May all the memories you shared help you get through this time...and the times to come.
Oh my goodness Carmi. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please know my thoughts are with you and your entire family in this sad time.
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I'm so sorry, Carmi. Dean and my thoughts are with you and your family.
Condolences and hugs, Carmi. May your dad's memory be for a blessing.
I received that same call in 2005 when my father died suddenly. All I could register at the time was disbelief.
My deepest condolences.
Gina
Carmi, I am so sorry. I hope that your good memories of him will sustain you and I know that you will sustain your mom during the days ahead. You always know just what to say (and say it well) so I have no worries about how and what you will tell your children.
I am so sorry about your loss, Carmi. That is tough news. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless.
I'm very sorry for your loss. These things are always very tough. Especially when the grandchildren are so young.
Carmi, death is never easy to accept. So much more the loss of one's parent. May family and friends provide you comfort at this time.
Carmi, our thoughts were with You and Debbie and the kids this entire day. Wish we could be there for you during Shiva. But we'll be sure to call instead.
Ayala (& Erica and Hugo)
I am so sorry for your loss, Carmi. Much love for you and your family across the miles.
Peace and goodness be with you all.
Carmi I am so sorry, my heart goes out to your mom and your little family..... so so sorry.
Thinking good thoughts for you and your family, Carmi.
carmi, i am so very sorry for your loss. you and your loved ones will be in my prayers.
Carmi, I'm so sorry.
As hard as this will be for your kids, it is surely even harder for you. Please know that many thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Carmi -
I'm so sorry for your loss. You Dad lives on in your heart and happy memories.
My sympathy to you and your family.
I´m so sorry Carmi. You and your family are in my thoughts. Hugs from Marie.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Carmi. It's so hard to let go. I am so thankful for memories.
Please accept warm condolences.
My heart is with you and your family...
Days of Awe indeed!
Warm Shalom & Aloha
Carmi
My deepest condolences.
Joyce
Carmi...
You have my deepest condolances for you loss, and please pass them onto your mother as well...
Take care
Bernie
Sending my thoughts to you.
Hugs Christina
heartfelt condolences to you and all bereaved
may his soul rest in peace
I'm so sorry Carmi. May God be with you during this difficult time and grant you peace.
Love,
Laura, Ward, Margie and Amelia
I'm so sorry for your loss - your entire family's loss - Losing my own Dad is something I truly truly fear and dread .......
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your father. No matter how or when it happens, it's always difficult. I hope that God provided you with the words to share the news with the children and that you will have strength in the next few days and all the days to come as you grieve. My heart and thoughts go out to you. Many will keep you in their prayers.
My thoughts and heart go out to you and your family, Carmi.
so sorry dear Carmi. my condolences.
laura
my deepest sympathy to you and your family for your loss.
Carmi, I don't know you yet, we've just bumped into each other, but things of this nature will bring the community of bloggers closer....I am sorry for your sadness and loss....
:-( My condolences to you and your family.
So sorry to hear about your dad Carmi. Mike and I extend our deepest sympathies.
Claudia.
Oh Carmi, I am so so sorry. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.
Carmi, my sympathies to you and your family. So sorry to hear this news.
Carmi, I'm so sorry. My heart aches for you. I will be praying for you and your family, I'm praying you'll be comforted.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Very sorry for your loss, Carmi!
I've been out of touch for some time. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
Im so sorry for your loss, my dad passed on the 29th of September last year and its the hardest thing iv ever experienced. May Light and love shine on you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Regards
Miza
Carmi, I'm sorry these condolences are so late but you are in my thoughts as I write.
I've waited all this time to read this. A mutual blogging friend told me of your loss. At the time, I was seeing my own dad through his last days on this earth and I didn't want to read it. Selfish of me perhaps. He died October 27, 2009. I had time to prepare and time to say goodbye.
The suddenness you faced breaks my heart. That must have been unbearable. I can't imagine.
I am finding it hard, still, to stop and think and remember those illness laden days; I write, I pray, I rage sometimes. But I have found great comfort in the words of strangers on my blog in the days and weeks that followed - isn't it wonderful? - and virtual hugs and wisdom I needed to hear from folks who'd experienced it before I had to. That has helped keep me afloat.
After sifting through your blog today, I can see that you are moving through the process with your camera in reflective pieces.
That is a good thing. Keep at it.
Peace to you and your family.
May your father rest in peace as well.
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