Wednesday, September 23, 2009

2:23 a.m.

It's never good news when the phone rings in the middle of the night. Tonight was no different.

It was my mom. My dad died suddenly earlier tonight.

I don't quite know what to say or do, except our kids will be up in a few hours, and I can't even begin to imagine how I'm going to find the right words to tell them.

Some days, I wish life could be easier. Or longer. Today is one of them.

88 comments:

Robin said...

I'm so very sorry Carmi, I'll be holding you all very close in my heart.

May his memory be a blessing to all who knew him. Yihyeh zichro baruch.

Thom said...

Oh my goodness Carmi. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please know my thoughts are with you and your entire family in this sad time. Try and be positive and know all the memories you have of him will be with you forever. My sincerest condolences. Aloha!

Elisabeth said...

So sorry. This is one of those times when words are not enough. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts. My sincere condolences.

bARE-eYED sUN said...

*sheeeesh!!!*

so sorry, Carmi,
we pray for comfort for you and yours.

:-(

..
.ero

bobbie said...

Carmi, you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

It is one of those times when words are completely inadequate. Just hold your family close.

Awareness said...

Carmi.... Big love to you and your family Carmi. Know that many walk with you today and the next and the next..... xx

Carolyn said...

Oh dear Carmi, I am so sorry! Losing a loved one is never easy, and to lose one so suddenly is sometimes harder to process. I'll pray for comfort for you and your family during this difficult time.

quilly said...

If words could bring comfort we would all be writing you sonnets. My heart and prayers are with you, your family, and everyone who loved your father.

Pat said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Carmi.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Breeze said...

I am so very sorry Carmi. My heart is with your family today...take care.

Breeze

courtney said...

No, it never is good when the phone rings in the middle of the night. I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

carli said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you were very close to your father.

Carina said...

Praying for you Carmi! Especially that you will have the words to comfort your little ones! So sorry!

S said...

Coming out of lurkdom to say, I am so, so sorry.

Mark said...

What a horrible thing. I'm so sorry. On some level, I know what you're feeling. Several years ago, we got a call in the middle of the night announcing a best friend's death. Very sudden and completely unexpected.

I can't imagine the first time I will have to lose a parent, nor how it must feel for it to happen like this. Good luck with your children.

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I wasn't sure from Facebook if this was your father or Debra's. I dread getting that phone call some day...our parents are such stable fixtures in our lives...it's hard to imagine them not being there. I wish I had something to offer that would be a real comfort, but know that you are in our thoughts. I'm so very sorry.

mamie said...

Twenty-six years ago, I got just such a call. My mom had died at fifty-five. Today, I can still be brought to my knees by her absence. You will learn to compartmentalize your pain and sorrow, but you will carry it with you wherever you go. No getting around that.

There is a Story People (artist Brian Andreas) piece that says, "After his father died, he carried his life more gently, & left an empty space for the birds and other creatures." I hope your family will find solace in your memories of your father, and joy from the love you shared with him.

Heather said...

I am VERY VERY sorry for your loss Carmi!!!! :(

daisy said...

My sincerest sympathy for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Gallow said...

Wow, I'm really sorry Carmi.

Richard Polisuk said...

May the Almighty comfort you amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Sarah said...

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your loved one. It's never easy any way you look at it. I'm sure you will find the right words or hugs to comfort your kids. The dog will be a great comforter too.

DNLee said...

sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Elizabeth Gilje said...

I'm so sorry to hear that Carmi. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family, especially as you talk/talked with your children this morning. Breaks my heart thinking about it.

Jientje said...

A moment we're all dreading to have to go through, sooner or later. Always too soon.

I'm so sorry.
Nothing I can say will make up for your loss. All I hope is that they can comfort you a little.

Marion said...

I am very sorry, Carmi. I wish I had some words to make it better. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please take care of yourself.

me said...

Carmi I am so sorry for your loss! Know all of our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Hilary said...

I'm so sorry, Carmi. Sending best thoughts for you, Ari and your respective families.

Tanya (aka NetChick) said...

Carmi, I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending you lots of hugs. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Hold on to all those wonderful memories... He'll be there always.

I talk to my Dad every day, still. I can't believe we lost him almost 2 years ago, now.

*hugs*

Linda said...

So sorry for your loss, Carmi. Keeping your family in my thoughts.

Mojo said...

My first thought when I read this was how ironic -- or perhaps portentous -- it was that you selected the theme "Temporary" for this week's Thematic Photographic. Nothing, not even the certainty that nobody here gets out alive, can ever prepare us for the loss of someone dear to us. We see it coming practically from birth, and still...

I always suck at knowing what to say at times like this. And even having been through losing my own dad 9 years ago, I still don't know the words that might bring any comfort.

But I have some, even though they're not my own. Passed on to me by a friend, who had them passed on to her. I'm sure you've heard them before (you've been around my blog enough, you had to have heard them at some point) but they always ring true.

"The only way around these things is through them. So if you bury your dead, bring a shovel, if you burn them warm to the fire. Look into whatever riddance you consign them to. Lend a hand, stand and weep or watch and wonder. But stay until it's done. Keep the names of your dead alive among your people. You get one father, one mother, one true love, one life and maybe a couple of good dogs. There is no easy way to do this. So do it right: weep, laugh, watch , pray, love, live, give thanks and praise; comfort, mend, honor and remember."

To that I can only add that all of my very best thoughts are with you and Debbie and the kids this day. Your dad was a great man. I don't have to know him to know this, because he's reflected in his son. You've done him proud and now his work is finished and he can rest.

PastorMac's Ann said...

For some moments in life there are no words.
~David Seltzer

No adequate words.

I'm so sorry Carmi. Lifting you and your family up in prayer. Comfort and peace as you grieve one so dear.

Daryl said...

Oh Carmi, I am so very sorry for your loss.

May he rest in peace.
Yihyeh zichro baruch.

Mel Fraase said...

So sorry, Carmi. I am praying for strength and healing for you and your family.

theMuddledMarketPlace said...

hoping for right words and special moments as your family spends time together

bless you all

Pamela said...

My sympathy and condolences Carmi.
May you all find comfort in each others shared grief and open arms.

Thumper said...

Oh, man, Carmi, I am so, so sorry... I don't even know what to say because I know how badly this hurts. You have my most sincere condolences, and as cliche as it sounds, my thoughts are with your family today.

gautami tripathy said...

Loss of a parent is one of the most painful emotions one can face.

But one has to cope. May you be strong for yourself, your family, your mom.

My prayers are with you

~jill said...

i'm so very sorry. our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Nej said...

There are no words. I'm so sorry.

Vita Stunder said...

All my thoughts to you Carmi.

Hugs, Anna

Linda said...

Oh, Carmi. I am so very sorry to hear this. My sincerest sympathies go out to you and your family. May God be with all of you right now.

Indigo said...

I'm so sorry Carmi.

Stacey in Montreal said...

Carmi, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts will be with you, Debbie, and the kids.

daisy said...

I pray God holds you all close in His arms so very very sorry. x

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your loss Carmi.
Ha-Makom y'nachem et'chem b'toch sha'ar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim.
-ec

Sara said...

Carmi,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts during this very sad time.

May all the memories you shared help you get through this time...and the times to come.

Nishant said...

Oh my goodness Carmi. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please know my thoughts are with you and your entire family in this sad time.
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Jeremiah Andrews said...

Eternal rest grant him and may perpetual light shine upon him.

You will have to let us know when the service is so I can pay my respects.

Jeremy in Montreal

Chris said...

I'm so sorry, Carmi. Dean and my thoughts are with you and your family.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Condolences and hugs, Carmi. May your dad's memory be for a blessing.

Pagan Sphinx said...

I received that same call in 2005 when my father died suddenly. All I could register at the time was disbelief.

My deepest condolences.

Gina

kenju said...

Carmi, I am so sorry. I hope that your good memories of him will sustain you and I know that you will sustain your mom during the days ahead. You always know just what to say (and say it well) so I have no worries about how and what you will tell your children.

SandyCarlson said...

I am so sorry about your loss, Carmi. That is tough news. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless.

NJ said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. These things are always very tough. Especially when the grandchildren are so young.

hapzydeco said...

Carmi, death is never easy to accept. So much more the loss of one's parent. May family and friends provide you comfort at this time.

Ayala said...

Carmi, our thoughts were with You and Debbie and the kids this entire day. Wish we could be there for you during Shiva. But we'll be sure to call instead.

Ayala (& Erica and Hugo)

Jen said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Carmi. Much love for you and your family across the miles.

Peace and goodness be with you all.

Amanda said...

Carmi I am so sorry, my heart goes out to your mom and your little family..... so so sorry.

cactus petunia said...

Thinking good thoughts for you and your family, Carmi.

barbie2be said...

carmi, i am so very sorry for your loss. you and your loved ones will be in my prayers.

kcinnova said...

Carmi, I'm so sorry.
As hard as this will be for your kids, it is surely even harder for you. Please know that many thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

MB said...

Carmi -

I'm so sorry for your loss. You Dad lives on in your heart and happy memories.

My sympathy to you and your family.

Marie Höglund said...

I´m so sorry Carmi. You and your family are in my thoughts. Hugs from Marie.

Beverly said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Carmi. It's so hard to let go. I am so thankful for memories.

Cloudia said...

Please accept warm condolences.
My heart is with you and your family...
Days of Awe indeed!

Warm Shalom & Aloha

Light and Voices said...

Carmi
My deepest condolences.
Joyce

AussiePomm said...

Carmi...

You have my deepest condolances for you loss, and please pass them onto your mother as well...

Take care

Bernie

christina said...

Sending my thoughts to you.

Hugs Christina

magiceye said...

heartfelt condolences to you and all bereaved
may his soul rest in peace

Moogie said...

I'm so sorry Carmi. May God be with you during this difficult time and grant you peace.

Love,
Laura, Ward, Margie and Amelia

Kimmie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss - your entire family's loss - Losing my own Dad is something I truly truly fear and dread .......

Artist Unplugged said...

Very sorry to hear of the loss of your father. No matter how or when it happens, it's always difficult. I hope that God provided you with the words to share the news with the children and that you will have strength in the next few days and all the days to come as you grieve. My heart and thoughts go out to you. Many will keep you in their prayers.

Peg Cherre said...

My thoughts and heart go out to you and your family, Carmi.

sealaura said...

so sorry dear Carmi. my condolences.
laura

willow said...

my deepest sympathy to you and your family for your loss.

♥ Braja said...

Carmi, I don't know you yet, we've just bumped into each other, but things of this nature will bring the community of bloggers closer....I am sorry for your sadness and loss....

JC said...

:-( My condolences to you and your family.

workinprogress said...

So sorry to hear about your dad Carmi. Mike and I extend our deepest sympathies.
Claudia.

Jill said...

Oh Carmi, I am so so sorry. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

Shannon said...

Carmi, my sympathies to you and your family. So sorry to hear this news.

Mama C said...

Carmi, I'm so sorry. My heart aches for you. I will be praying for you and your family, I'm praying you'll be comforted.

Liz said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

maryt/theteach said...

Very sorry for your loss, Carmi!

Laurie said...

I've been out of touch for some time. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Mizasiwa said...

Im so sorry for your loss, my dad passed on the 29th of September last year and its the hardest thing iv ever experienced. May Light and love shine on you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Regards
Miza

rosneath said...

Carmi, I'm sorry these condolences are so late but you are in my thoughts as I write.

Mimi Lenox said...

I've waited all this time to read this. A mutual blogging friend told me of your loss. At the time, I was seeing my own dad through his last days on this earth and I didn't want to read it. Selfish of me perhaps. He died October 27, 2009. I had time to prepare and time to say goodbye.
The suddenness you faced breaks my heart. That must have been unbearable. I can't imagine.

I am finding it hard, still, to stop and think and remember those illness laden days; I write, I pray, I rage sometimes. But I have found great comfort in the words of strangers on my blog in the days and weeks that followed - isn't it wonderful? - and virtual hugs and wisdom I needed to hear from folks who'd experienced it before I had to. That has helped keep me afloat.

After sifting through your blog today, I can see that you are moving through the process with your camera in reflective pieces.
That is a good thing. Keep at it.

Peace to you and your family.
May your father rest in peace as well.