Friday, September 23, 2022

13 years...

Family resemblance
August 9, 2009
Laval, QC
This photo originally shared on Instagram

Time has a funny way of playing with us. Like today: 13 years to the day since I lost my dad.

Yet it feels like yesterday.

Or the day before that perceived-yesterday, when he left our house for the last time, turned the corner in his silver Saturn, and disappeared.

I share this not to be maudlin. I’m not one to dwell on dark memories. Yet at the same time, I’m keenly aware of why we keep memories alive in the first place. Because when that’s all that’s left, you hold on.

My life is filled with irony. I am a writer, yet I come from a family that, to be gentle, doesn’t communicate. Small day-to-day things aren’t shared. Major milestones aren’t marked. Leading with kindness isn’t - and never was - part of the equation.

My father was many things. And he was human. I get that.

Which probably explains why my family - the one my wife and I have built - is very different from the one I was born into. We’ve learned from those mistakes. From the opportunities not taken. From the moments missed.

Our kids will have a very different life’s trajectory than mine, which is as it should be.

Which is my rather Byzantine way of saying I appreciate the path I’ve followed to get here, and all my father did to put me on that path. He wasn’t remotely perfect. No one is. I still miss him.

#ldnont #throwback #family #everything

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