Tuesday, April 19, 2005


I'll admit I felt a bit nervous on the way into work today. As I rode my bike, I found myself scanning everywhere, looking for the guy's car and reading the license plates of any vehicles that matched the description. The idiot was nowhere to be seen, but I still worried. He can't be pleased that I'm letting the charges go forward. It'll cost him in so many ways, and I worry that he'll target me as the source of his newfound ills.

This got me angry. Why should I feel vulnerable? Why should the victim feel like he no longer has the right to safely wheel his way to the office?

Then I thought about the zillions of e-mails, calls and visits that I have received since the news broke. I can't thank you all enough for your kindness. It means more to me than I can say here. That matters infinitely more than the sour grapes of a dork who can't control his temper.

Physically, I'm fine. My face stung for a bit during the day, and I was ultimately OK. Psychologically, I'm a bit freaked by it all. I still can't believe that someone had the temerity to so thoroughly lose control, to wait for me, to leverage unmitigated power over me, and to physically assault me.

It bothers me immensely that this can actually occur, and I keep questioning whether passivity was my best strategy. As I was cycling home yesterday, past the spot where it happened, I thought to myself why I simply didn't accelerate into him while he stood in the middle of the path. A bike at 35 km/h would have sent him to the hospital, and I could have simply called it an accident. My blood pressure spiked as I visualized revenge scenarios, going back in time and being an even bigger SOB than my aggressor.

But then I realized I was being stupid. There's no sense second-guessing myself. I did the best that I could in a challenging, rapidly-evolving/de-evolving situation. There's no way I could have had any material influence on the outcome when this individual was so far gone. Taking the legal/moral high ground, and letting the justice system - and my very sharp pen - do its thing is the best thing I can do.

Time will render this yet another footnote in what has thus far been an interesting, rewarding life. My toolset of experiences grows thicker, and the chapter that was opened for me yesterday will continue to be added to over the course of the next few months. I'll be sure to share many of those words with you all on my site.

(Speaking of which, watch for tomorrow's paper...should be fun!)

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