Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Dark Knight sucks...

...because it's turned our burg's humble movie theatre into a seething cauldron of humanity, all waiting to see the late Heath Ledger in the apparent performance of his career.

As I've done in previous sucks-themed entries - Halo 3, Grand Theft Auto 4, the iPhone and a seemingly endless litany of consumer and artistic-cultural products - I've chosen to use my blog to once again lampoon our near-universal obsession with being the first on our block to have the latest gadget or see the hottest movie or play the newest game or...

Mark my words: Two weeks from now, you'll be able to stroll uninterrupted right up to the ticket window and buy as many overpriced tickets to this film as your eyes - and bladder - can handle. You may even get to kick away the tumbleweed on your way into the near-empty theatre.

I promise you it'll be exactly the same movie that's being shown tonight.

Disclosure: I'm writing this from my seat in said theatre as I await the start of yet another film, Mamma Mia. My wife and I had to carefully step through hordes of Black Knight wannabes who had camped out in the hallways here. Many of them were playing cards. Others texted each other. No one, mercifully, wore a Batman costume. Or, even more mercifully, Robin.

So, by virtue of the fact that I've also braved the crowds to see an homage to really bad 70s-era Scandanavian music, I am very much a sheep, too. But a sheep who loves his wife.

Your turn: Seen any good movies lately? Do tell!

Post-movie update, 12:35 a.m.: Just got back from the movie. A good time was had by all. My wife loved it, and said it lived up to her expectations. Yes, I enjoyed myself, too. Will it win an Oscar? No. Do I care? No. Did it make my wife and I smile for a couple of hours at the tail end of a miserably gray day? Absolutely. Good movies take us places we'd like to go, make us feel good about the world around us, give us opportunity to see the familiar from a different perspective. Critics be damned: Mamma Mia did all three.

28 comments:

Wordnerd said...

Soooo? How was Mamma Mia? Miss Priss wants to see it, but I read a couple of bad reviews.

Vesper de Vil said...

there's definitely something to be said for being caught up in the excitement of a film. The Dark Knight was excellent! the emotions of the audience moves in waves. i could feel it as i approached the theatre. amazing film. amazing talent all around.

kenju said...

Let us know what you both thought of Mamma Mia. I have read some reviews of the dark knight that say it is great, but I cannot stand to look at Ledger in that Joker make-up. It is sooooo creepy.

Barb said...

You are a good husband. It's been so long since I saw a movie in a theater I barely remember the smell of popcorn. Hoping for a good ol' b&w Cary Grant on the late show -- if I can wrestle the remote from the super-surfer.

Beverly said...

Well, I saw Mamma Mia this afternoon. The theater was filled with women and a few brave men. I saw Mamma Mia on stage a few years ago, and I wanted to see this movie. I must say I loved Meryl Streep in her role, and the leading men weren't bad either...this coming from an old lady.

I look at reviews, but I've decided that a movie is good if I like it. I've gone to seen a few that got rave reviews, and I didn't like them at all.

You're a good man to go with your wife. I'm sure that the men who were there today were going because their wives wanted them to.

smarmoofus said...

Well said! A friend of mine has been texting me regular updates about the box office sales of tickets to that movie. "They had it showing on x screens at midnight Thursday night, and all the seats were sold out! They sold 2200 tickets at midnight at that theater alone!"
Imagine that. Then think about that happening at all the theaters across the country. It is beyond comprehension.

utenzi said...

I saw a bad review of Mama Mia also but it looked vaguely interesting. I'll catch that one on DVD.

I definitely want to watch Dark Knight but am more than willing to wait a few weeks since like you, Carmi, I'm sure once the hype dies down it'll be easy to get in.

me said...

My baby bro and his fiancé are coming over next weekend so we can go see the X-Files. Last time I was in the movie theater I think we saw the last LOTR movie. We have Troy from Netflicks, have had it about a month or so, it's good too, but we only have seen about half of it. The two of us can't seem to get on the same page to finish it. Have you taken your wife to the show? She would enjoy that.

Christine said...

Here is my latest movie story: I took the kids to see the latest in the summer movie series they do here in town for the kids on Thursday (this week was Alvin and the Chipmunks), and about half way through we had to evacuate the building due to a fire! Their popcorn machine caught fire. No one was hurt, and I think the damage was limited to the popcorn machine. The worst part was we only got to see half of the movie, and amazingly it was one we hadn't seen. I guess we're off to the video store!

raehan said...

I just read a couple of paragraphs ot this to my husband, because we'll be going to Mamma Mia, too. We saw the show on Broadway together a year ago. Fun is the word. It seems a lot of reviewers don't quite get that. Oh well.

Whit said...

I took the boys to the movies tonight to see Space Chimps. Eh. It had a few funny lines that none of the other 5 parents in the theater seemed to get and the boys liked it.

I'm the opposite on movies. I want to see them right away in the theater or I won't go see them at all. Seeing a huge movie like Batman on opening weekend isn't just a trip to the cinema, it's an event.

oranginadreams said...

I saw the Dark Knight today in the IMAX and it was good... Heath Ledger was wonderful, it's such a shame he's gone.
I also saw 3 movies on the plane ride back to the states. If you want to see some real sucky movies check out 21, Step Up 2: The Streets. But Spiderwick Chronicles was sooo cute. I just thought the kids were adorable.

Leslie

Sleepypete said...

Not seen Dark Knight yet but it's on the list ...

Hancock is a surprisingly decent film. We probably should have waited a week or so before seeing it as the cinema was absolutely packed out with kiddies who'd been let loose after school finishing for them on Friday ...

Kristi Mantoni said...

I'm with you. I don't think I've ever waiting in line to see a movie for longer than 15 minutes (and I think that was because of a cash register malfunction).

Mama Mia seems like a fun movie right up my alley but I'll be waiting for the DVD. As I age, I get cheaper and cheaper. I think I get that from my mom.

I'm glad you enjoyed my SYTYCD blog. I started doing it that way this year and didn't think I was going to continue because it's a lot of work. But, after the first one, I got a comment from a new reader who said they really liked it so I feel I have to do it. Don't get me wrong, it's fun but it's a lot of work!

I didn't have an interesting animal photo but here's a link about my friend's new puppy. It's not interesting but she's cute!!

http://kmantoniva.blogspot.com/2008/03/susie-q.html

HRH Courtney, Queen of Everything said...

Eventually, I will see both. My girlfriends will drag me to Mamma Mia (although, in their defense, the previews I've seen on TV look interesting enough), and I will likely drag someone to see Dark Knight. But, you're absolutely right. It will be the same movie the last week in July as it is this week.

R. Sherman said...

I've found I have as much or more fun just waiting for things to come out on DVD. That way, I don't have to mess with the rude crowds in theaters and can enjoy the film in the peace and quiet of my family room.

Cheers.

Beverly said...

I'm so glad to read your addendum about Mamma Mia. Your sentiments are mine exactly. I smiled all the way through it.

Thumper said...

I am totally dragging the Spouse Thingy see Mamma Mia; he might pretend he doesn't want to go, but he was a hard core ABBA fan in the 70s, so I know he does...

I suspect we'll be seeing Batman first, though. If we go on Tuesday afternoon, chances are there will plenty of empty seats.

I don't get the whole HAVE to see it on the first day thing. People who already had tickets camped out to be sure they'd get "good" seats. Even my kid went to the first show... I suppose I'm too old to get it.

Anonymous said...

Change your profile buddy. It reminds me of something a beauty queen pagent contestant would provide as an answer for the interview section. 'Save the world, but not on my dime. I'll just talk or write about it.'

Carmi said...

Anomymous: Um, no. When you have the stones to comment under an identifiable name, I'll give your suggestion some thought.

Enjoy your stay at the Residence Inn Boston-Westborough. Don't leave a mess on the sheets when you're done, k?

lakeqi said...

TDK was one one of the most over rated movies in the history of American cinema. Christian Bales growling. Forcing people to chose to save this person or that- not at all original.Its basically directed to people who don't know squat about how good comics are. People are blown away because its "dark", but its not even as good as what Miller did 20 years ago. Tiny Lister throwing out that detonator was just so corny.This was a movie for the illiterate, and for those who just want to believe that Heath Ledger is some kind of a god.

MorahMommy said...

Thank you for taking me to see Mamma Mia. I loved the movie and it definitely lived up to my expectations.

On top of it, because the first show was sold out, we had 3 hours to kill. It was an even better date night! You had to put up with me for an extra 3 hours. :-)

Joan said...

I don't pay attention to when movies come out; when I feel like going to the movies I just look up what's playing. So when my husband asked me Friday morning if I wanted to go see Dark Knight that evening, I agreed. I detested Batman Begins, but like you, Carmi, I love my spouse. He bought the tickets during the day. It was only as we pulled into the packed parking lot that he mentioned it was opening night. I could have smacked him.

In the end, we were fortunate -- the theatre had it playing on at least 4 screens nonstop, and we walked right up to the concession counter. Finding a seat, however, posed a challenge, especially since the theatre our show was in had an aisle only on one side. My husband spotted two seats against the wall, thankfully close the railing separating a wheelchair area from the row above, so we only had to climb over the bars and a couple more people rather than an entire row. Sheesh.

The movie itself was very good; I actually enjoyed this one. Ledger is absolutely brilliant. But I agree - why deal with the mania when it'll still be there in a couple weeks?

Heather said...

I LOVED Mamma Mia!

patrick said...

Dark Knight is a must see for sure, though it might be a better game plant to go after the crowds die down a bit...

ciara said...

saw mammia mia w my girls...we loved it. saw the dark knight today....i have my own comments about that whole movie. i'll be doing a post on it later. i'm of the same opinion as you...those who wanted to some of the 'first' to see it are just nuts...because no matter when you see it, it will still be the same movie. anyways...i'm sure i will get flack after i put up my post later LOL

Anonymous said...

The fact that batman let the joker go and did not kill him right away makes batman almost as bad as the joker.

Anonymous said...

The MOVIE SUCKED!!

This was the Crappiest Batman movie ever MADE.... Health Ledgers Joker was pitiful.. the guy who played TWO Face was as wooden as the box he should be buried in... I give this film NO STARS.... the Jack Nickelsons Joker was the BEST.....

This film should have been called
Batman, "Dark Poop"!

BASURA, CRAP!!!

djbombero "BachataRadio.com