I couldn't help but notice the decided lack of trick-or-treating children at Halloween this year. I believe a number of possible reasons could be behind the falloff: the kids in our neighborhood are growing up; election coverage is so scintillatingly compelling that everyone - children included - simply stayed home and dial-zapped between the talking heads on CNN, Fox News, and CNBC; the apple growers lobby has finally gotten its act together and kicked Wonka Corp's flabby behind off the supermarket shelves; or the holiday has simply become a tired, meaningless exercise in gluttony.
Whatever's driving it, we ended up with a bit of a logistical challenge: way too many little chocolate bars. I deliberately overbought because I had been having recurring dreams that we had run out.
Make no mistake, these were true nightmares: I'd be standing at the door, beating off the starving kids with one hand while trying to shove the door closed against the struggling mob with the other. In these dreams, the cat was out of his furry little mind, and the kids cowered behind the sofa. My wife ran for the vacuum cleaner handle, hoping to give me additional leverage against the sugar-crazed mob. It was a scene straight out of Dante's Inferno, I tell ya.
So I figured another huge box (or two, I lost count in the frenzy of hands at the supermarket) of $10 mini-chocolate bars - the ones we really, REALLY like, of course - would represent cheap homeowner's insurance.
Of course, now we've got enough sugar to keep Up With People on tour until next summer. Which means I've got to find a place to hide all of this stuff from the little people before they end up on the tour bus with the dreaded Up With People cast (or, as the Simpsons so aptly skewered them, Hooray For Everything.)
Getting serious for a moment, I do have to admit how nice it was to see neighbors who are usually blurry apparitions in your window as they zip off to work in the morning, then home again at night. For most of the year, we interact with them from a distance - namely waves and smiles when they pass by, and the occasional 15-second conversation when we're close enough. This time, we actually got to chat and catch up on much of the past year - until the plantive whines of my threesome rose to a crescendo. They apparently think I talk too much.
Must have been all that sugar.
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AND THE ATMOSPHERIC RIVER BEGINS!
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2 comments:
The kids are growing up and moving on or perhaps they are glued to the television because of election time. Two good reasons. All that matters is, there's more candy for you.
I'm glad I served as an inspiration!:)
I found this post hilarious, Carmi. Thanks! But, my biggest problem with the little candy bars is that when I bought several bags a week early I ended up eating the contents of one of the bags before Halloween. These little bars should be banned! I easily fell into the psychological trap that eating one of those wasn't bad. If I had bought only full-size bars I wouldn't have had this problem.
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