Saturday, November 06, 2004

Need your help - addressing nastiness

OK folks, here's a not-so-hypothetical situation for which I'm hoping you can provide some guidance:

Many of you have heard about the rather strongly-worded and personal column I published in the paper last week. If you haven't, click here for the actual column, and here for my initial blog post on it (as well as your reactions).

As a response, I received my first piece of hate mail. My comments (and yours) on it are here. The person who wrote this message - I hesitate to call him a reader, since he clearly didn't read my column so much as skim it before lashing out in a fit of subintelligent, disconnected rage - has since e-mailed me a number of times with inflammatory text culled from the web, purportedly to support his point-of-view.

Normally, I would simply ignore it. The content of these messages automatically qualifies them for instant transfer to my webmail account's Junk Mail folder, so it's not like it's interfering with my workflow or anything.

The problem lies in the fact that he CCs a huge list of editors at my paper and other related media executives. (He also misspells my name, but that's another story.) I'm sure this must be annoying as heck for them, and I hardly think this reflects well on me because of it.

So, I have a number of choices here, and I'm not sure which one is optimal. They are:

1 - Continue to ignore him and say nothing to anyone.
2 - Continue to ignore him, but call/e-mail my editor to let him know how badly I feel.
3 - Contact him via e-mail, ask him for his phone number so I can speak with him.
4 - Contact him via e-mail and tell him to cease and desist.
5 - Contact him via e-mail and tell him his efforts would be better spent on letters to the editor.
6 - Contact his service provider, launch a subscriber/abuse complaint.
7 - [Please suggest anything else here]

It's a typical Hobson's Choice scenario, complicated by the fact that, as a publicly-identifiable journalist, I have ethical behaviors to uphold and an image to maintain with both readership and the media organization that engages me.

In many ways, this response totally justifies my fear in the first place. This is what we deal with on an everyday basis, and each possible reaction is fraught with peril and risk. Thus far, you have all been incredibly supportive in your thoughts and comments. I'm hoping you can share your thoughts - whatever they may be, I'm all ears! - to help me navigate my next steps in a way that will minimize risk to my journalistic career and, more importantly, to my personal safety.

It's times like this that I wish we were all back in Kindergarten, where a quick trip to the teacher would take care of the abusive bully once and for all. If only.

10 comments:

Joan said...

In my humble opinion, I vote for talking to your editor and explaining the situation. Since it sounds like this is one of the first times you've encoutered such a thing, perhaps your Editor might have some suggestions on how they would like for you to handle it? Perhaps the newspaper's legal department might be able to shoot off a "cease and desist" type thing?

I really think that contact from you will just rile him up further. Hopefully if he realizes that his intended target is not going to strike back, he'll get bored and stop.

Good Luck, my friend! I pray this will not prevent you from speaking your mind in your column in the future. If it does, then that means that the bad guy won, and you are too much of a good guy to have that happen.

Photominer said...

Hi Carmi, I agree, go to your editor and explain the situation, they should take this on. I think if you (personally) feed this guy any kind of response you'll only keep him interested.

Let the boss handle it, its his job to protect you and having a company response instead of a personal one would be a much better thing.

Finally, save every e-mail, document every single thing this guy sends you. If you feel threatened in any way, take it to the police and to your editors. They may not be too accomodating at first, but at least it'll show a pattern if he ever bothers you again.

Jill said...

I absolutely "ditto" John and Terry. Talk to your editor and document-document-document. BYW, I don't see how this is a reflection on you what-so-ever. You're in my prayers. jk

Jack Steiner said...

Hi Carmi,

Thanks for the comments on my blog. I would document this person's actions and make sure that your editors were notified about this.

You are not the first journalist to be confronted with this kind of episode and I hope that this is nothing more than a blip on your career.

In any case, I would not advise contacting this person. You are unlikely to change their mind, this kind of hate is not based on logic.

Be safe and keep up the good work.

Amelia said...

I've been trying to post this comment for a while now, so hopefully it doesn't come out twice!!!

Carmi,

It sounds like this guy is more than just airing an opinion (albeit an extremist one) on your article, by repeatedly emailing you, he is harassing you.

Harassing an individual whether they be a journalist or a shop assistant is I believe something that needs both the involvement of your editor and the police.It is not something you should expect as part of the job. As others have suggested, I think you need to document EVERYTHING to do with this incident.

You have a right to express your opinion freely and without fear, just as this guy has a right to express his opinion. He does not have the right to target you or your family repeatedly in an intimidating or threatening way. I sincerely doubt he can adversely affect your career with his views, you are a brillaint writer and his small minded opinions will hold little weight in editors decisions.

Anyway, I hope this does not stop you from standing up for what you believe in. The positive influence you have on so many people is far greater than one guy with a chip on his shoulder.

My thoughts are with you and your family and a quick resolution to this appalling situation.

Dean said...

Do not engage this person in any form of dialog. Personally, I wouldn't read what he has to say, although I would probably archive it in case he continues.

I've seen these guys for years. You will never, ever be able to convince him of anything. Don't bother trying.

Don't take it personally. It should be abundantly clear that he doesn't see *you*, he sees a symbol. As with all conspiracy theorists, his hatred and anger is internally driven. It isn't anything you did: it is entirely his problem.

I'd talk to your editors/colleagues. If they've been in the business a while, they'll be able to recommend ways of handling a crackpot like this. Unfortunately, I believe that it goes with the territory.

Keep your chin up. If you're annoying the crazies, you're doing something right.

Anonymous said...

I am really sorry to hear that you are getting that kind of response from anyone. Sometimes I am ashamed to be a human being, if this person is any example of my fellow man.

Many of these people "communicate" by trying to make people afraid to speak out. Please don't ever stop. They lose their power when they are marginalized, but they don't seem to lose their ability to shake us to the core, do they?

Your editor will have seen similar behaviour before, and should be your champion in this. It's only fair they should be your champion, you are the champion for those without a voice.

Steve said...

Camri,

Thanks for having the courage to bring this example of racism to light. I can understand why you would want to confront this person directly, but I aree with the judgement of your previous posters. You should take it to your editor, and if you're harassed repeatedly, take legal action.

In addition, other journalists should take it upon themselves to hold people who spew such vitriol to account. Sometimes, a tolerant society errs when it tolerates intolerance.

Thanks as well for your encouraging words on my site.

Ellie Creek Ellis said...

Make him play scales or perform forced manual labor! :o) Sorry about all this- you'd think humans could get passed all this, but obviously.....Have a fine week.
~E

Danya said...

Carmi!

This fellow is nothing if not persistent. I agree with Joan and Terry, ignore the fool and speak to your Editor. I'm sure that he's dealt with this type of nonsense before. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already working on it, especially if he was one of the people our unstable friend cc'd. As far as the other cc victims are concerned, I'm sure that they know a loonie when they see one.

Some advice, if you'll allow me: Try not to read anything else he sends you. Keep it, by all means if you think you may need his correspondence as proof of harrassment, but try not to read it. It's upsetting and nobody needs that kind of crap to ruin their day. Plus, even if you don't respond, he's still been able to make you mad and that's his power. Don't read any more of his email!

That being said, it's obvious that this guy has other 'issues' if he feels that he needs to keep harrassing you in this way. Kick it to the curb Carmi. One way to really get his goat will be to ignore him. Completely. And let your Editor know that's what you'll be doing. As my Mom always told me (and I'm sure that yours did too) that kind of spew doesn't justify a response. Don't waste your energy on that guy. He's not worth it.