Sunday, September 27, 2009

Symbiosis on hold

It's no coincidence that the first word in social media is "social". As a new-millenium communications medium, it raises the art of two- and multi-way communication to a new level. People who missed that memo and use the tools for one-way messaging without somehow finding a way to leverage the value of everything that flows in the opposite direction are missing a golden opportunity.

So it's with great difficulty that I see, fleetingly, the wave of incredible support that friends and family have been providing all week, and I barely have the time, cycles or emotional capability to acknowledge any of it. Detailed, supportive emails, Facebook comments and instant messages pour in from everywhere - around the corner, Georgia, Israel, name it - and all I can do is read them on my BlackBerry when I have a free moment and pray that the sender knows how grateful I am.

So if I haven't gotten back to you yet, please know that I got the message, it touched me in ways I could never have imagined, and I'll close the loop at some point in time when I feel ready to get back to the keyboard. For now, please accept my deepest thanks and appreciation. Knowing how blessed we are by the community that surrounds us has given us immense strength these last few days.


Carolyn R. Parsons said...

Everybody understands. Take care.


lissa said...

Sometimes social media, as in life, is a one-way flow of energy entirely intended to give, rather than to give and receive, as far as actions are concerned. As well, those who know how to give know that there is a return response just from the ability to reach out and help another person through a tough time.

So, receiving the myriad gestures of condolences and loving that you continue to receive, you are also giving back to those of us lucky enough to be in your realm, Carmi. No one should ever give with expectations, and no one you have gathered in your circle of friends, family, social mediaphiles and associates really wants anything back. In fact, all we want is your peace of mind, and for you to find a place where this enormous loss can be reconciled in your heart. And that takes time.

You must give something back - but to yourself. Give yourself time to deal with it, without apology and without pressure. There is no frame of reference in your life, or the lives of your family, for this event; therefore, there is no set time at which you must return to routine.

And yet, you wouldn't be you if you hadn't posted something along these lines, and that, in itself, is a way for you to find that normal place. And that makes me feel good, because I know you WILL be okay. As rough as it is, you're already beginning to absorb this into your fabric, and I've told you just recently, but it bears repeating: you are not alone.


Hilary said...

Hugs to you and yours, Carmi.

Katney said...

There are times when social is one way. It needs to be. You need what energy you have for yourself right now. Anyone who expects otherwise is being selfish.

quilly said...

You know, it never occurred to me that you would answer. Take care of your and yours. That is where your energy needs to be right now and I am certain that people know that!

Anonymous said...

Carmi my friend, no need for an explanation. Everyone understands. Just be strong my friend and take care of you, your wife, kids and your family. Take all the time you need and know that mine and I'm sure everyone else's thoughts are with you. Sending you much Aloha and Sunshine my friend :)

Andi said...

I was going back through comments and noticed that I had missed you on the Meet N Greet....due to my power totally running down while at a show. Being out of town....I forgot and did not notice that it happened until today. Netchick sent me.

I will be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs. I always feel inadequate when I try to put these kind of things into words...I have been through dealing with many deaths myself.

Try to find something to smile about. If your family is into that sort of thing, maybe eventually they could make a shadow box of little things that remind you....for one of your walls....I have seen a lot of people do this. I have little sentimental things all around my house that remind me of loved ones.

I have always admired your comes across in your blogging.

Andi said...

Ok...correct that. I guess I didn't miss you on Netchick. :-) Anyway I can't send enough virtual hugs.

Mojo said...

I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't expect "reciprocation" -- now or ever really. And while I can't speak for them with certitude, I'd feel safe in saying that the others who have sent their wishes feel the same way.

Whether you respond in some concrete way, or even acknowledge what's sent to you is unimportant. What's important is the energy that you can take from it to sustain you when you've reached that point where you need it. I consider it a privilege to be able to lend whatever comfort and support I can to you and your family Carmi. Whether you write back or not.

I'm not keeping score, and I don't think anyone else is either. You just take care of business and lean on us when you need us. Soon or late, we all have to do that at some point.

Anonymous said...

We don't expect you to reply to us during this time. We merely want you to know that we care. I'm glad you can feel the support of thoughts, prayers, and virtual hugs.