Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Why some people should not be parents

No one ever said life was fair or balanced.

After all, you need a license to sell hot dogs on a street corner, keep a dog or cat in your house, or broadcast your grandmother's dessert recipes via ham radio. But anyone with working biologicals can have a child.

Sadly, having functional parts does not qualify a person to be a parent. This story, Police: Parents gave crying baby vodka, underscores why some people deserve to be sterilized before being thrown in jail.

The short strokes are chilling - a three-month-old baby girl died after her parents gave her a lethal dose of vodka. She had a BAC of 0.47 - over five times the legal limit. As if should could have decided for herself anyway.

I hope they throw away the key when they catch and convict these monsters.

One small consolation: we needn't worry about these two selling us hot dogs on a street corner.

Your turn: Is it time to tighten society's rules around becoming a parent? Should this be licensed? Is it even feasible?

22 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

That's just scary. And where I've always joked that there should be laws that prevent certain people from reproducing if the government got anymore into our lives would be equally as chilling

birdychirp said...

oh that's horrendous. I have compromised fertility (lazy eggs) and as we journey towards becoming adoptive parents and have to be tested to our limits I get increasingly angry at the people who parent as I won't, poor boundaries, too much junk food, not enough stimulation let alone people like this.

And I know it makes me judgemental, and I don't like that about myself.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

It's a true dilemma, because I agree, there are many many people who have no business being parents, BUT how do you legislate that? It is interesting that you need a license to get married, but NOT to have children, though a great many people who get married get divorced, shortly there-after!!! What is this Marriage License actually good for, anyway? It's not like this license bothers to find out if you are qualified for marriage, whatever that means...
I certainly think that the government should not be messing with our pesonal freedoms any more than they already are and they aren't doing a very good job with all that, as is predictable!!! It really is a true dilemma, like I said at the top of this comment...
Something to ponder, Carmi...

Nicole said...

It is estimated that about half of pregnancies are not planned, which means that half of us wouldn't be here if biology was truly regulated! (Both my husband and I resulted from unintended pregnancies!) Given that, licensing parenting is an impossible proposal. And I, for one, also prefer to keep the government out of my private affairs, especially when they involve my private parts.

Instead, we need to do more to support parents in their most important role. Let's start early and provide adequate education on contraception, legal access to abortion, prenatal care for all women, and education in parenting skills, especially for those most at-risk. I have seen more than one case in which the parents received some training in parenting skills only after they were already in the social services system for abuse or neglect. We need to switch out of a defensive mode to a good offense and focus on prevention.

[I know my statement reflects some differences between the U.S. (where I live) and you Canadians up north. ]

Rachel - Wicked Ink said...

Mandatory parenting classes, and annual reviews.

Unfortunately, the very sad state of affairs is that they probably thought that because ages ago, gripe water contained alcohol, they were just doing the same thing.

And fortunately, this will serve as a lesson to those who might have done this themselves, if they can learn from the lessons of others.

Not enough of the Right information being shared...

Steve said...

It's the same thing with driving, Carmi. The people who are often most capable to drive physically, i.e., the young, are the least capable of handling the responsibility.

It's the same deal with baby-makin', sadly enough.

...If only it were possible to legislate foresight.

Prego said...

Vodka. That's so ghetto. Nothing says class like Cognac or mulled wine.

On a serious note, I've stopped watching the news or reading bone chilling articles detailing the complete stupidity or outright viciousness of some of my fellow parents. I can't wait to be re-incarnated as a bird so I can soil their windshields.

dena said...

Sadly, these people were probably given Vodka as infants. A lot of this garbage gets passed down through the generations.

Christine said...

Oh goodness. How very sad. This is the one thing that if I could do it, I would do - protect children from their parents when needed. How very tragic that such a thing is necessary. I've heard way too many stories like this.

I think that requiring a "license" of sorts for parents is a good idea in theory, but in reality I don't think it could work. There are too many different ways to parent a child within the realm of "good" parenting - it's too subjective. Spanking vs. not spanking, home schooling vs. public schooling. Before you know it people will have their kids taken from them for being vegetarian for instance, because it got out of control and someone down the line decided that wasn't in the best interest of the child.

I think in cases like this the "parents" should be subjected to the same treatment they gave the child - and then some.

MissMeliss said...

I've always thought parenting should require a license...but it's easy for me to say that, because I only have dogs. That being said? Anyone who gives vodka to a baby? Criminal!

surcie said...

I don't think parenthood should (or could) be govt. regulated. What's important is education. Somehow, everyone ought to take parenting classes just like they take driver's ed or childbirth classes. Come to think of it, everybody ought to have pre-marital counseling, too.

Personally, I could use a cooking class.

Leanne said...

sickening!

I am not sure if liscencing will work but there totally should be some sort of exam or something!

CanEragon said...

I once heard of a program in the U.S. that was actually going to be started "Parenting Classes." You know I think that every married couple should have to take a mandatory Parenting/Marriage type Orientation Classes, before marriage and before having children. Because stories like this are scary and we do not hear about many severe cases like this one. How many go unreported?

There are too many damaged relationships and way too many damaged and orphaned children in the world, not to take a hard look on their parents and their social networks.

I may not be a parent myself, biologically, but I am father to a few boys in my social network, and I learn from the men I call friends.

Yes, they should lock these monsters away and throw away the key, AFTER they sterilize them both.

Cheers Carmi,

Jeremy

Mrs. Fun said...

:( so sad,just sad. heartbreaking.

Sandy said...

That is just horrific!

Of course, having said that, I've often joked about the whole "parent license" thing - particularly when dealing with infertility and watching my friends do the same. Yet as a parent seeing how judgemental people can be about simple parenting choices, it scares me to think who would be making that call - who gets the go ahead to procreate and who doesn't.

Teli said...

I had a conversation about this very thing not too long ago with my sister.

The people who deserve to have children, who would love and nurture them, and raise them the best way they knew how always seem to be the ones who have troubles conceiving.

Then there are the people who don't know the first thing about parenting, don't want to be parents, addicted to drugs, or are in other ways unfit to be a parent - those are the ones who someone find themselves blessed enough to have a child.

Ass-backwards if you ask me. But that's just my opinion.

Should there be a law against having children? Is it feasible? No on both counts.

Should children die. No, never, but they do. Is it fair? It doesn't seem fair...but without evil, there is no good. Without sadness, there is no joy. Without hate, there is no love.

That said - it breaks my heart when I hear about such tragedies, but I try to remind myself that life is about one thing -- balance.

I have the hope that somewhere, each tragedy that occurs is balanced by something amazingly good.

kenju said...

I doubt it could ever be licensed, Carmi. As scary as this is, we cannot educate everyone before they become parents. I do think we ought to teach parenting in school, but common sense is either present or it's not, and cannot be taught, can it?

I thought about this very thing today when I read about a guy who molested his girlfriend's daughter, and after the fact, was discovered to be a known sex-offender who had a bad record of molesting children. The saddest part was that the mom sided with the sex offender. I cannot imagine what this does to a young girl's mind to know that not only was she molested, but her mom did nothing about it. Society is going to hell in a hand basket, they say, and I am inclined to agree with them!

Plumkrazzee said...

My cousin is on her 3rd baby in 3 years, one of whom custody has already been terminated. Don't even get me started!! It is so unfair, and mind blowing to think of all the DESERVING people out there desiring a child....and the losers are the ones popping them out left and right. ARGH.

Michael Manning said...

Carmi: I agree with "America's Most Wanted" Host John Walsh. These monsters who harm otthers should be locked away forever. But if they kill, they absolutely need to be sent to another place other than to continue taking up space here on Earth. Nothing is more precious than a child. Every parent should read 'Tears of Rage". I couldn't sleep for two nights, but I guarantee you. You will view the safety of your child very, very differently (better). I have a post next Monday I borrowed but hope you'll read. Good job, Carmi!

Steph said...

I don't think that we can license parenting, although I wish we could. But in cases such as this, I do support forces sterilization. The parent in me, who can be irrationally protective at times, says, "Take them out of the gene pool!" But the sensible, more rational me still thinks that if we can put a serial killer in isolation to prevent him from being hurt by the general population, we should be able to foresee harm, and protect potential children from it, by not allowing known dangerous parents to reproduce again.

Pieces of Me said...

That truly disturbs me....What are parents thinking??

WendyWings said...

As much as I would like to see it mandated I think licensing for parenting is not something that can happen.
Michele sent me :)