Friday, July 05, 2013

21 years on...

For reasons that still amaze and delight me, 21 years ago tonight I was privileged to marry my best friend. And 21 years, 3 kids, a cat, a dog, two cities and countless life milestones later, she's still my best friend. Even more so.

Debbie is patient, kind and empathetic, all of which makes me wonder how I lucked into convincing her to spend her life with me. I doubtlessly scored a better deal than she did: I'm far from the easiest person to live with, yet she sees through my highly obvious faults and somehow manages to appreciate something even I have difficulty seeing. For that I am understandably and limitlessly thankful.

She's also incredibly lovely. Inside and out. I still stare at her, often for extended periods of time. Just because. And like the kids she brought into this world and has nurtured and guided every waking moment since, she's a good soul, a gutteh neshumeh, who always manages to find the positive in things, people and situations.

We've had a ridiculously charmed ride, so far, but time has a funny way of testing us. Over the years, we've lost friends and family members, to the point that I can no longer watch our wedding video because I can't bear to see everyone who's no longer with us. Closer to home, we lost my dad almost 4 years ago, and her mom earlier this year. So today marks another unwelcome first for Debbie, and as I have with all the other firsts, I wish my husbandly toolkit included a way to make it better.

Alas, it doesn't. I'm only human. We all are. And easy or difficult, I'm glad to have experienced all of these moments with her. Because she always finds a way to make them better. To talk them through in the middle of the night. To walk beside me as I wrestle with the dog's leash following a particularly trying day. To sit quietly nearby on a sunlit morning as we simply welcome the new day. Whatever the moment looks like, knowing she's there is enough for me. I learned long ago to stop questioning why I got so lucky. Sometimes, the universe just smiles on you.

Happy anniversary, sweets. Thank you for making my life whole.


tiff said...

Aw, you love her. Hooray!!!

Michèle et Jean-Claude said...

Happy Anniversary! May you have at least another 50 years!

Martha said...

How beautiful! Happy anniversary Carmi! Me and my hub are right behind you, just a few months into 20 years together. I feel the same way you do. Isn't it a wonderful feeling?!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Congrats to you both, Carmi, and may you have many more.

fredamans said...

Happy anniversary to you both. Wishing you many more wonderful years together.