"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."It's been a week of days that start long before sunrise and end long after the kids are tucked into bed, of late-night writing jags and late-afternoon sprints across town before I jet off to something else barely 10 minutes after I get home. I've logged more than a few sessions in front of a camera, and the early morning treks into the studio have given me ample opportunity to wonder about the wonder of it all.
As I looked at the red light in the leadup to my most recent interview and listened to the producer in my ear count down the time until we were live, I thought about my first-ever television hit just a few years ago. I remember the sick feeling I had in the pit of my stomach, the furtive wish that I didn't melt down on-air, the hope that I'd remember to say all the right things.
In the end, I needn't have worried. I set the nausea aside and focused on just getting it done, and getting it done well. Which I did - or at least I think I did - and as I drove home afterward, I had to resist the urge to high-five total strangers at every red light. Amazingly, the phone kept ringing, and my media adventure continues to this day. I'm no longer afraid as the clock ticks down to air, but I can still understand why some folks might find it more than a little scary. You're always a flipped switch or lost thought away from losing it.
Which got me thinking about fear as I cruised the dark, wet streets this morning and turned into the parking lot, the studio's exterior lights blazing. I guess a while back I decided I wanted to ride the media wave so much that swallowing those pre-air jitters was an easy, or at least worthwhile, thing to do.
And let's face it, it's a thrill to start the day talking about things I love with really smart people who also love what they do. I'm sure there's a little bit of fear still lingering deep down. But it pales in comparison to the soul-stirring joy I feel when everything's clicking along and you know you've just laid down some seriously cool TV.
Not a day goes by that I don't realize how lucky I am.
Your turn: Why are you lucky?
One more thing: I'm back on-air first thing Friday morning - 7:40 a.m. Eastern - with CTV's Canada AM, talking about Facebook's new Timeline feature. But first I've got to drive through the darkened, wet streets of my pre-dawn 'burg. I seriously can't wait.