Tuesday, October 26, 2004

A delicate workplace issue

[OK, Mom, please stop reading now.]

Truth really can be stranger than fiction when it comes to this wacky new world known as the Internet. Thanks to an industrious colleague who shall remain nameless (what was said colleague doing scanning tech message boards for the word "porn" anyway?) a relatively new discussion currently making the rounds of the TechRepublic site somehow ended up marching across my screen. It's called CEO surfs porn and it should prove to be a more entertaining read than your usual dry-as-a-stuffed-shirt geek exchange.

With this funny still fresh in my mind, I have built the following Top 10 list of excuses a CEO could give after being caught surfing for smut on an office computer:
  1. I was conducting a critical bandwidth-overload test.
  2. I accidentally mistook whitehouse.com for whitehouse.gov.
  3. I was calibrating the color on my new LCD flat-panel display.
  4. I'm saving it for someone else.
  5. I resent your use of the term "porn". I think of it as "adult entertainment".
  6. It's part of my final project for film school.
  7. I'm taking one for the team.
  8. Pornography? I thought it was Cornography!
  9. I sure wish the shareholders could see this.
  10. Have you seen my wife's latest film?


Terry said...

haha, thats good. (FYI, i can use caps, i just choose not to). scary part of this story is to have a female employee catch the boss, opens up all kinds of trouble (i've seen it happen with some risque magazines around an office once).

like the list! i'd add: "i'm looking for a wellness coordinator!"

Amelia said...

I got a good laugh out of your list. Office cleaners are also very good scapegoats!

Seriously though, a friend of mine typed in a search for Girlfriend magazine (for her teenage daughter), and low and behold girlfriend filth popped on the screen. Needless to say she ushered the kids out of the room very quickly!

Wheelson said...

IT guys having to put up with a CEO's tech issues have my deepest sympathy. At a company I worked at, as the IT staff was gradually reduced to -1 by layoffs, eventually the job was added to my list of duties even though it had nothing to do with my core responsibilities. Working to fix some stupid problem on the CEO's computer wasn't much fun at all.

opinionatedguy said...

Those are funny, Carmi. How about, "I'm trying to keep abreast of new developments."?