Saturday, January 15, 2005

Warning: hilarious AND profane

I don't swear much. Except when I'm stressed or late or otherwise at risk of blowing through a deadline. I also tend to let some cuss words leak out when I'm riding my bike and my life is, intentionally or not, threatened by a motorist. Oh yes, I also swear - or think of swear words - when I'm really tired and it becomes apparent that there will be utterly no sleep in my immediate future.

But when it comes to writing, I'm about as likely to use a four-letter word as Jerry Seinfeld is in one of his stand-up routines. Aside from the fact that such language wouldn't be appreciated by the editors of a daily newspaper, it just isn't me. I can paint literary pictures with decidedly cleaner words.

Still, I appreciate creative stretching of the language envelope as much as anyone else. So with this spirit in mind, feel free to click here for a graphical - and graphic - view of a real university essay.

If you're drinking milk while you're reading this, swallow it all before you follow the link. You may also want to visit the washroom. And tell your mother to exit the room (yes, this includes you, Mom.)

Dad too.

BTW, the associated graphic files are fairly large. High-bandwidth connection recommended. Otherwise, be patient.


Diva said...

That is quite the creative thesis, indeed. If it were a blog post, I would say it was a fairly creative post as well. But given its intent, it's a little sad. The professor's red marks and comments are hilarious.

I don't necessarily agree with the D- though. F would have been more appropriate, don't you think?

Lou said...

Sorry, couldn't make it past the horrendous pink of page 2. And I worry about *my* essays making the grade?

Carmi said...

Diva: Yup, I would have definitely given it an F. I would have also stopped grading after the first sense wasting any more marking time.

Something tells me this is almost too bizarro to be above-board. Most profs would simply goose the paper based on its clearly obtuse construction. And for the ones who wouldn't, I simply wonder.

Lou: Yeah, I almost went blind on that page. I'm amazed the instructor stuck with a red pen when almost any other color would have returned a greater degree of contrast. OK, that was way too technical; a definite sign I need some sleep!

Dean said...

I think the humour was an initial burst of laughter at the first naughty words.

It got old quickly, and it certainly could have been better, I think.

The funniest thing, I thought, was the prof's crabbed, cirliqued writing, and the fact that he or she was so shocked that he mispelled 'too' as 'to' at one point.